The World Unites In Laughing At Trump

The World Unites In Laughing At Trump


WELCOME, ONE AND ALL TO “THE
LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. THE U.N.–
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THANKS VERY MUCH. THIS IS A CRISP AUDIENCE. CRISP AUDIENCE. CRISP, FALL AIR IN HERE TONIGHT. WELL, THE U.N. JUST STARTED
THEIR SESSION HERE IN NEW YORK, AND THIS MORNING, PRESIDENT
DONALD TRUMP WAS SLATED TO SPEAK SECOND, BUT HE WAS SO LATE, THAT
ECUADOR’S PRESIDENT HAD TO TAKE HIS PLACE. COME ON, MAN! YOU’RE FROM NEW YORK! YOU KNOW WHAT THE TRAFFIC IS
LIKE WHEN THE U.N. IS HERE! JUST TAKE THE SUBWAY. YES, IT SMELLS LIKE PEE, BUT
RUMOR IS YOU LIKE THAT.( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THAT’S THE RUMOR. I HEARD– DID YOU HEAR THAT?>>Jon: ALLEGEDLY. ALLEGEDLY.>>Stephen: I HEARD THAT. NOW, ONCE HE MADE IT TO THE
U.N., HE JUMPED RIGHT INTO HIS FAVORITE TALKING POINT:
HIMSELF.>>IN LESS THAN TWO YEARS, MY
ADMINISTRATION HAS ACCOMPLISHED MORE THAN ALMOST ANY
ADMINISTRATION IN THE HISTORY OF OUR COUNTRY. AMERICA’S– SO TRUE.( LAUGHTER )
DIDN’T EXPECT THAT REACTION, BUT THAT’S OKAY.( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: DON’T WORRY, MR. PRESIDENT. THEY’RE NOT LAUGHING AT YOU. THEY’RE LAUGHING WITH EACH OTHER
AT YOU.( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
BUT–
♪ ♪ ♪ “WE ARE THE LAUGHING STOCK. THEY’RE ALL– THEY’RE ALL
LAUGHING AT US.” BUT TRUMP WAS THERE TO DELIVER
AN UPLIFTING MESSAGE TO THE WORLD: EVERYBODY MIND THEIR
OWN DAMN BUSINESS.>>THE UNITED STATES WILL NOT
TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE, OR WORK, OR WORSHIP. WE ONLY ASK THAT YOU HONOR OUR
SOVEREIGNTY IN RETURN.>>(AS TRUMP) “I’M JUST SAYIN’,
IF WANT TO THROW YOUR DISSIDENTS IN A GULAG, THAT’S COOL WITH ME. AS LONG AS YOU IXNAY ON MY
ABY-BAY AGES-KAY.”( LAUGHTER )
“DOES THE U.N. TRANSLATE PIG LATIN? NO? ”
AFTER EXPLAINING TO THE COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD THAT
AMERICA WOULD LEAVE THEM ALONE, HE STARTED PICKING ON THEM.>>IRAN’S LEADERS SOW CHAOS,
DEATH, AND DESTRUCTION. NOT LONG AGO, VENEZUELA WAS ONE
OF THE RICHEST COUNTRIES ON EARTH. TODAY, SOCIALISM HAS BANKRUPTED
THE OIL-RICH NATION. CHINA’S MARKET DISTORTIONS AND
THE WAY THEY DEAL CANNOT BE TOLERATED. GERMANY WILL BECOME TOTALLY
DEPENDENT ON RUSSIAN ENERGY IF IT DOES NOT IMMEDIATELY CHANGE
COURSE.>>Stephen: HE’S WORKING THE
ROOM LIKE AN INSULT COMIC.( LAUGHTER )
“HEY, HEY, CHECK OUT ITALY OVER HERE. HEY, YOU’RE NOT FOOLIN’
ANYONE WITH THAT BIG BOOT! GAMBIA, GAMBIA, WE ALL KNOW
THEIR NATIONAL MOTTO: WHERE THE HELL IS GAMBIA? THIS GUYANA KNOWS WHAT I’M
TALKIN’ ABOUT! THAT’S MY TIME! PLEASE HAVE YOUR DIPLOMATS STAY
AT MY HOTELS. OH!”
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
DID HE SAY ANYTHING NICE ABOUT
ANYONE?>>I WOULD LIKE TO THANK
CHAIRMAN KIM FOR HIS COURAGE, AND FOR THE STEPS HE HAS TAKEN.>>Stephen: I CAN’T BELIEVE THE
ONLY GUY HE PRAISED WAS KIM JONG-UN. PUTIN IS GOING TO BE JEALOUS!( APPLAUSE )
“I WILL NOT BE IGNORED. I WILL NOT BE IGNORED.”( LAUGHTER )
THEN TRUMP PROVIDED A BOLD VISION FOR THE GLOBAL MIGRATION
CRISIS– LET SOMEBODY ELSE HANDLE IT.>>ULTIMATELY, THE ONLY
LONG-TERM SOLUTION TO THE MIGRATION CRISIS IS TO HELP
PEOPLE BUILD MORE HOPEFUL FUTURES IN THEIR HOME COUNTRIES,
MAKE THEIR COUNTRIES GREAT AGAIN.( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: YEAH. ( BOOING )
NO? HE’S JUST TALKING ABOUT A
FRANCHISE OPPORTUNITY. MAGA-DONALD’S. HE’S ALREADY HIS OWN CLOWN.( APPLAUSE )
THE MAIN THEME OF TRUMP’S SPEECH WAS SUMMED UP BY THIS MOMENT:
>>WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER AMERICA’S SOVEREIGNTY TO AN
UNELECTED, UNACCOUNTABLE GLOBAL BUREAUCRACY. AMERICA IS GOVERNED BY
AMERICANS. WE REJECT THE IDEOLOGY OF
GLOBALISM, AND WE EMBRACE THE DOCTRINE OF PATRIOTISM.>>Stephen: SO TRUMP APPEARED
BEFORE THE UNITED NATIONS TO REJECT THE PREMISE OF NATIONS
UNITING.( LAUGHTER )
” CONGRATULATIONS TO MIKE AND DIANE ON THEIR WEDDING. WE BELIEVE THE INSTITUTION OF
MARRIAGE IS A SHAM. WE REJECT THE IDEOLOGY OF
MONOGAMY. DIANE, WHEN MIKE GETS FAT, CALL
ME.”

100 thoughts on “The World Unites In Laughing At Trump

  1. The only thing his administration has done is to make us look foolish, destroy the middle class enrich the rich and pollute the world

  2. I can't believe that this guy is representing my country. It is absolutely humiliating. Especially that he will not help other nations or support other countries. We should be working on giving aid to other countries so that they will be safe, and figuring out a way to stop global warming (yes, climate change is a thing and it is happening now). Climate change is real and it is our fault, so we should do whatever we can to stop it and save our planet. It makes me sick to know that there are people in the world, especially Trump, that are to ignorant to know what is happening, or worse know what is happening and choose to do nothing about it.

  3. I am Chinese. I like Trump because he is the President of the United States. See how great democracy is. As long as the people are willing, seeing the clown can become a president. How happy it is.

  4. Stephan is the most biased late night host ever. Both the Jimmys were against Trump as well (and for the record, so am I (except of his memes)) but they didn't let their bias grow into outright hate for the man.

  5. The free world is not laughing at trump – we are horrified at the impotence of the US political and justice systems that enabled him to become President, and your failure to remove this criminal from Office!

  6. Like I keep saying, Trump is a World class comedian, he can even get straight-laced international statesmen rolling with laughter.

  7. OMG. Even though I saw the speech before, it was a chilling statement. We said, Never Again and here it is, again.

  8. 叔叔,囚狱众怎化解,会助教皇教宗众否?,班僵尸组也好回召主处,对了,囚狱众处牧兼職,並待三合共济是否有利益掛勾,,,对召也好有交代各教宗众,,,唉。
    唯一可行的是,最難奌囚獄先作良返善(班众組大慨全出助还不夠伏邪人員),然後(英國是美國友好国嗎?),美众卅再同意自心向美各宗无脅迫心決定,是結合北主保護宗门保衛主,而以信仰互信洽商,國重物運轉鍊,,,。
    鴿子怕其他拖久,而博士組和班組,会更忙而,丫~~~丫,咹乃,趁如今上下任集而同心,定可為解化,不然一直迷失矛盾(其實怨念会很快),像木棒擋板期,不多年而槍械也不多年,入各国後,也不多年,,,很可怕对吧,自己数字算,可算計出各幾年,,,而加集,再到任何一国也会如此很快感染,,,可怕吧。

  9. They're only laughing because he starts out bragging about his so called achievements but if he doesn't get off his lazy ass it'll be the worste.

  10. I have a strong feeling he is actually a woman. The way he sashays around while talking is like a woman in PMS pain.

  11. Have the electors of USA gone nuts… We always remember USA as a land of great leaders.. This man has made USA a laughing stock of the world..

  12. COLBERT, YOU USED TO BE FUNNY ON STRANGERS WITH CANDY AND THE JON STEWART SHOW. NOW, YOU'RE JUST A CORPORATE SHILL, SELL-OUT WHORE, FORCING YOUR AUDIENCE TO WATCH YOUR APPROVED COMMERCIALS BEFORE YOUR OFFICIAL VIDEOS. HOW DOES IT FEEL? YOU'RE RICH BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS, BUT YOU'RE NO LONGER AN ARTIST, JUST A SELL-OUT WHORE.

  13. Trump may be preoccupied with his own hands but he's surely the biggest "dick" we'll ever have in the Whitehouse

  14. Am I wrong…or are his dentures flopping around again here? Either that or the adderall is kicking in.

  15. Ecuador's President was there before Trump?   WOW!  Ecuador's President moves on a wheel chair!  He is a paralytic idiot who cannot even find the toilet of his own house by himself.

  16. Appreciate democracy in your country, you call your president names and make fun of him and you carry on with the show without being arrested.

  17. We dont tho the working class people in england love trump we dont like middle class wankers like you who think you speak for everyone

  18. They're not laughing at America, they're laughing at trump!!! He's sooo stupid. And are his dentures lose? He sounds weird.

  19. Well he isn't really wrong… His administration has accomplished NOTHING, which is something that almost every other administration has never accomplished. ROFL

  20. Really SHAME, most idiot president in this 🌎!!!
    No idea how come can be voted as American president. What going on the American peoples🤔🤔🤔

  21. Trump: China is not doing well financially. Socialism sux
    meanwhile
    China: attempting to end poverty and building all sorts of things everywhere
    Trump: Fake News!
    China: builds more impressive structures
    Trump: China could u plz cooperate for once

  22. 全世界在错误的道路上越走越远……除了美国……
    The world is moving further and further on the wrong road… except the United States…

  23. 谁说民主就一定是好事?看看世界上最“伟大”的国家选出来的总统……btw,选总统前不用测试一下参选者的智商吗?
    Who said democracy must be a good thing?Look at the president of the world's most "great" country…btw, don't test the IQ of the candidate before choosing the president?

  24. Yeah, seriously, USA should elect Trump again~~~!!!! So we can continue to see evil USA ruins itself in such a moron way.😂😂😂😂
    TRUMP AGAIN!
    TRUMP AGAIN!
    TRUMP AGAIN!
    TRUMP AGAIN!

  25. "Germany will be totally dependent on Russian energy unless they change course." Coming from a President who's totally dependent on Russia for giving him the damn presidency on a silver platter. That and having an army of supporters with the intelligence of the squeeky toy and the memory a goldfish.

  26. open your mind trumpguycon…in america 300 milion ppll and have are hold and fat like you !!! lol LOL… i m free dont want bee slave for your wall´s maniac

  27. THE USA IS BEING TRASHED AND ALL YUO DO IS MAKE JOKES AND LAUGH CALIFORNIA IS BURNT ALASKA IS MELTING AND RUSSIA IS REAPING ARIZONA ON FIRE RITE NOW AND KILL THE BLACKS THE WORLD IS DIVIDED LAUGH EVERY WHITE PERSON IS RACIST

  28. WELL, WELL, PRESIDENT TRUMP IS "THE PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATE", HE HAS SHOWED HIS GREAT LOVE FOR HIS COUNYRY, HE WROTE A VERY GOOD BUSINESS BOOK, HE HAS A MASTER DEGREE, HE IS A MILLIONAIRE, HE HAS RESPECTFUL, MORALS, PATRIOTICS AND GOOD CHILDREN. AND YOU ARE AN OLD PATHETIC, UNPATRIOTICS, MOCKER CLOWN. POOR YOU.

  29. He is not a shameful thing. He is not a narcissistic creaton. He is not a fully self obsessed capitalist. He is an American. Take a look in the mirror.

  30. We have always laughed at you! But now it's hysterical but it is also scary having Trumps finger on the button may God help us all. Well done yanks for voting for him. No wonder we view amicans as stupid!

  31. I didn't know anyone besides the legendary pornstar Ron Jeremy could suck his own dick but Trump seems to be masterful at that maneuver well I guess he's had to suck his own dick scene Stormy Daniels kicked him to the curb and Melania said not tonight Donald or ever!!!

  32. Colbert the closet queer is just jealous that no one is laughing at him. That is how dull and boring his useless show is.

  33. Colbert is a JACKASS! Don't listen or care what he has to say **TRUMP2020** – Start crying now…..

  34. Gambia is an actual country. Trump mentioned Nambia which is not the name of an actual country, although Namibia is. Trump just needs to learn to read, and you should pay a little more attention.

  35. MR.Real Trump knows how stupid he sounds because he is talking for an apple user in the game they don't show he's real identity cuz big industries are using hologram sistem in one of the famous video game TRUMP using normal poor people on our neighborhood to make big profits over them in this case the guy plays the roll the fake trump actually I call him MR.DUMP lol he was contracted by the industry of video game I was Mr. Obama with out knowing what was going on around the only thing I knew its was fear, pressure, anxious, cuz the fact they never asking if I want to be part of it I Guess it's more fun and interesting to have victims completely blind of the reality of this Apple's phones users (criminals) playing with human beings just to have fun and profit with them not to mention most of the victim like me we don't got the privilege to get pay for entertainment lots of people specially young teen agers on this video games which I call them the new order in Dallas Texas, OakcliffTexas, grand prairie texas, Arlington Texas, Houston Texas, using the most defeanless people poor pleople in the city… #thesoundofsilence #thesoundoftalknow

  36. Im not to worried this POS and his family will be gone and in jail soon.. Everyone is laughing at him but soon we will be laughing as his LOSER FAMILY ONE BY ONE GOES TO PRISON

  37. Trump is a complete fool. Why would he embarrass himself like this? Goes to UN and basically tells everyone to f—k off. Because he is also stupid.

  38. It’s sad when 45 tells the truth, nobody listen. He’s always telling on himself. Russia, China, North Korea. And he’s getting away with it, amazing.

  39. Trump has this new tone he uses at the end of the sense that suggests success. It’s hilarious. Used to watch stand up “now this”.

  40. Miserable globalist propaganda , ignorant people don`t understand complex processes . Thus they are easily manipulated with shows like this.

  41. the only reason jong un met with trmp was to meet the greatest comedian since chaplin.
    he met trump again to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

  42. 0:55 "In less than 2 years, my admin has accomplished more than almost any admin in the history of our country"…… that right there is what confuses me,,, how could he possibly believe that??? Is he totally brain-damaged ????

  43. My daughter sarcasticly says that Trump is "playing with the dicks", (not literally), of all the foreign leaders, that he's trying to kiss ass with, and makes secret deals with, and only discusses what is safe to discuss, (on the news), to act as a distraction to us, so that we won't know what's really going on, with their secret dealings, which won't happen until it affects everybody, when it's too late, and we'll have trouble getting out of.
    Then Trump tells us, "Everythings fine, things are going well, with the foreign leaders, I've struck up a new deal with them". 
    And then, later on, he changes his mind about the deals, and the foreign leaders get mad, and start making threats. When he changes his mind, he tells the foreign leaders that he made deals with, that if they don't do things his way, he makes threats to bomb, or attack them!
    And then when the shit gets stirred up because of him, he does what he usually does, hides out, playing golf, or some personal selfish vacation, long enough for the shit to die down. (that he started!!)

    My daughter went on to say, "tell the foreign countries that are threatening to attack us, hey, don't attack us, get rid of the "infectant first!!" Hint, hint. 

    *My daughter is 21 yrs.old, and she watches the news every day, and won't miss watching YOU every night, Steven Colbert!!!
    She loves you, and thinks you're sooooo funny!! 😃😍❤
    And she certainly likes to keep up with your mentality, and comedy. She loves it. She won't even let me watch my Perry Mason, which comes on at that time, because she says, "NO!! I'm not gonna miss the Steven Colbert Show!!!

    I'm her mother, and I'm old school, 53 yrs.old, and I like watching all the old shows on late night, channel 808, MeTV. (Cox cable).

    Well, can't wait to see you on Monday night. Have a nice Sunday, Steven. We love you!

  44. Trump made someone mad enough to make a whiny video about him disguised as belittling and arrogant comedy? Again? 🤣 I love the power he has over the people who pretend to pity him.

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