The “Patriotism” Scam

The “Patriotism” Scam


So my image manager comes to me and says: “Hurry – we need to capitalize on this patriotism debate!” Everyone’s fired up. We can score big points and improve our image! Public memory is short. I need to constantly keep myself in the public eye. Of course, with all my tax evasion it’s good to keep fooling the people. Keep myself well fed… I get a brilliant idea – sing the National Anthem! It’s true! These suckers are so stupid… They’ll believe anyone who puffs up their chest and pretends to be patriotic! We set it up fast… We need to quickly enter the scene when the time is ripe… Collect all the praise and acclaims…! It’s like lifting sweets from an unsuspecting toddler. They’re so innocent! It doesn’t really matter what you actually feel! Here I am evading taxes …and people…they won’t even notice! I’ll put on this serious, deep voice…. I’m an actor right? That’s what I’m great at! You should have seen my manager’s face…. Staring at me in awe… It’s true! It’s the most brazen scam! Stand on stage, sing a few words…. When we announced it to the public…. You should have seen the fawning! Here I am…laughing all the way to the bank with my suitcase full of cash.. They had no clue… But seriously, hats off to those protesting students… It’s not easy to stand against public opinion When the whole country wants your head and to throw you in jail Anyway, the day comes…and what a turnout! Half the city! I’m confident you know…I’ve done it all before It’s all about appearances If you brazen it out, your audience will never suspect They even wanted to…. Make me President!! The Prime Minister himself called me to his place! The Press, the national audience, the works! They were falling over themselves to praise me…! In one master stroke…I put myself above suspicion, and deflected all accusations! They just fell for it? Hook, line and sinker! The nationalism debate was a godsend for me! Talk about scamming people! Even I never suspected people were so gullible! What about the money? No questions. If you’re a “patriot”, the public protects you. You don’t even have to defend yourself If someone says a word against you, there will be thousands of sheep to defend your actions. Oh man, what a time we live in! President!!! I can already see myself in the office! God willing if all goes well, this will be my biggest act ever!

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