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Tag: satire

The Conservative Perspective on the Democratic Primary

The Conservative Perspective on the Democratic Primary

-The process of selecting a Democratic candidate to run against President Trump is well under way. And we can quibble over the fact that there are too many people running or nitpick some of the candidates, but I think we can agree that, to this point, it’s mostly been a discussion of ideas, as opposed to the contentious Republican debates of four years ago. -Oh, here we go again. -I’m sorry. What was that? -Oh, nothing. You were just elevating…

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Obama Befriends Rich Elderly Widow In Hopes She’ll Put Nation In Her Will

Obama Befriends Rich Elderly Widow In Hopes She’ll Put Nation In Her Will

President Obama once again took time off today to visit the bedside of 89-year-old billionaire widow Mrs. Adelia Scott, prompting the White House to once again deny claims that the President is simply buttering Mrs. Scott in hopes that she will leave her money to the badly indebted US Treasury. How could you say that? The President has no motives in befriending Mrs. Scott other than to spend time with a fellow American who likes to do the same things…

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Jokes Seth Can’t Tell: Lesbian Leads Germany’s Fascist Party

Jokes Seth Can’t Tell: Lesbian Leads Germany’s Fascist Party

-Here at “Late Night,” every night, I deliver a monologue comprised of jokes written by a diverse team of writers. As a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that, due to my being a straight, white male, would be difficult for me to deliver. But we don’t think that should stop you from enjoying them, so we’d like to share them with you in a segment we call “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell.” [ Cheers and applause ]…

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Stop Supporting the Troops (SOCIALIST COMEDY)│Means TV

Stop Supporting the Troops (SOCIALIST COMEDY)│Means TV

Hello and attention and at ease, friends. I’m here tonight representing the United States of Army… of America I’m stationed here tonight to bring you a confidential missive blessed by General James Norman Mattis, old Nevermind himself. On behalf of the generals of the United States Armed Forces and the Coast Guard I am duly obligated to deliver this communique to all US citizens and whoever hasn’t been deported yet so that y’all know how to be. Please stay tuned…

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In The Know: Should The Nation’s Unemployed Be Buying New Apple Computers?

In The Know: Should The Nation’s Unemployed Be Buying New Apple Computers?

Gregory Dawson: I’m Gregory Dawson filling in for Clifford Banes who was hit by two cars. The first car threw him into the path of the second car. The unemployment crisis has worsened in recent months with little sign of recovery. Should the nation’s millions of unemployed spring for a new Apple computer, given that it might assist them in a job search? David Barrodale: Absolutely they should. Jason Copeland: The timing is right. David Barrodale: Of course, it’s expensive,…

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Annoying Orange – Microscopic Apple (feat. Greg Benson, Joe Nation & Jess Lizama)

Annoying Orange – Microscopic Apple (feat. Greg Benson, Joe Nation & Jess Lizama)

(typewriter clicking) Egg: Step forward, say your name, read the line on the card. – Yo-yo! My name’s Big Apple. Put your non-existent hands up and give me the purse. – Is that the apple that bruised you? – No. He was shorter. voiceover: Number two. – I’m Apple. Put your non-existent hands up and give me the purse. – Not him; still too big. – Well, I think you’re gonna like what you see next. voiceover: Number three. –…

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Stop Making Me Defend Donald Trump! | We The Internet TV

Stop Making Me Defend Donald Trump! | We The Internet TV

[JENNY] So China just approved for Xi to be president for life, and Trump says “maybe we have to give that a shot someday.” [BILL] Like, enough is enough. How do people ignore that? [GARY] I’m pretty sure he was joking. [BILL] Joking about being president for life? [GARY] Yeah. If you listen to the audio, everybody’s laughing. They’re clearly in on the joke. [JENNY] Okay, I’m sorry. Do you like Donald Trump? [GARY] No, I actually think there’s a…

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JOJO RABBIT | Headline Gala | London Film Festival 2019

JOJO RABBIT | Headline Gala | London Film Festival 2019

It’s amazing, I mean it’s my first time accompanying a film to the London Film Festival and it’s just beautiful I mean, I love London so much and I would basically take jobs just to come and visit. Taika, he’s an absolute man-child! He’s probably the funniest guy I’ve ever met in my life. He’s got a really unique humour it’s very fast and it’s very funny. Roman is incredible, he sort of just came out of nowhere. Not even…

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Blurred Lies (from Puppet Nation ZA S1E01, by ZANEWS)

Blurred Lies (from Puppet Nation ZA S1E01, by ZANEWS)

JUJU: Everybody rise up! JZ: HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE Gwede: They say we can’t hear what the people say They say they’re gonna vote en masse for the DA Vavi: Comrades you’ve all gone blind JZ: HEY HEY HEY Blade: Comrade you’re out of line JZ: HEY HEY HEY Juju: Comrades let’s grab the mines JZ: HHHhehehehehe JUJU: Everybody rise up! Lindiwe Okay my time has come, my gosh I’m so excited Helen: My name’s…

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