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Tag: LAUGHTER

Mister America: The Final Challenge

Mister America: The Final Challenge

-Final two contestants. And only one of you will be crowned Mr. America, a title you’ll get to hold until whenever we randomly decide to do this again. [ Laughter ] All right contestants, it’s time for the final round of the competition, where our judges will evaluate your emotional intelligence. Both of you will have a conversation with one of our judges, in which they’ll give you a classic relationship scenario that you’ll need to navigate expertly. Up first,…

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Mister America: Humor Competition

Mister America: Humor Competition

-The first part of our competition showcases Mr. America’s sense of humor. Contestants, please tell us a joke that you would say when meeting a significant other’s parents for the first time. -I just want to thank my lovely girlfriend’s parents for inviting me over to this dinner. You know, the food is great. The house is beautiful, but, uh, babe, I thought your dad would be bigger. [ Laughter ] -Next up, Mr. California. -Do you know, uh, how…

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Tom Hanks America’s Dad Monologue – SNL

Tom Hanks America’s Dad Monologue – SNL

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TOM HANKS! ♪♪♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YES! I’M TOM HANKS AND IT’S SO GOOD TO BE HERE HOSTING “SNL” FOR THE NINTH TIME! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WOW, WHOA! IT HAS BEEN A DREAM OF MINE EVER SINCE I HOSTED FOR THE ATE TIME! YOU KNOW, MAGAZINE COVER RECENTLY CALLED ME AMERICA’S DAD. I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. BUT I WILL TAKE IT. ANYHOW….

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President Obama and Prime Minister Trudeau Deliver Remarks at State Dinner

President Obama and Prime Minister Trudeau Deliver Remarks at State Dinner

The President: On behalf of Michelle and myself, welcome to the White House as we host Prime Minister Trudeau, Mrs. Grégoire-Trudeau and the Canadian delegation for the first official visit and state dinner with Canada in nearly 20 years. We intend to have fun tonight. But not too much. (laughter) If things get out of hand, remember that the Prime Minister used to work as a bouncer. (laughter) Truly. (laughter) So tonight, history comes full circle. Forty-four years ago, President…

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When Americans date the English… | Live At The Apollo – BBC

When Americans date the English… | Live At The Apollo – BBC

Erm, I got married recently. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thanks for playing along. That’s why I moved here. I married a British guy. SCATTERED CHEERING That lack of whooping when I say the word “British,” that is the self-loathing I signed on for. I love you guys. I’m never going back! So, he’s British. I married him for free health care, basically. I know, right? Not even a joke. Like, nothing turns an American on – a decent personality, hot-rod bod…

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“Cultural Names” | Russell Peters – Outsourced

“Cultural Names” | Russell Peters – Outsourced

>>Russell Peters: I like cultural names. Cultural names are really cool, you know? I don’t have a cultural name– and Indian people, for some reason, have real tough time with this, but my real name is Russell Peters. [Some audience members boo] Both of my parents are from India, and that’s the name they gave me. Russell Dominic– [Audience members still booing] Look at you dumb motherfuckers right there! [Laughter] Do you know Indian history at all? At all?! None,…

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The President Honors the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team

The President Honors the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team

Ayla Ludlow: My name is Ayla Ludlow, and a few month ago I decided to write a letter to the First Family after watching the U.S. Women’s soccer team. This is what I wrote: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Obama, My name is Ayla Ludlow, I am 13 years old. I live in Pennbrook, Massachusetts. Today I was watching Women’s World Cup, which I love so much, and then my brother decides to come into the room and say, “Ayla, boys…

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The Conservative Perspective on the Democratic Primary

The Conservative Perspective on the Democratic Primary

-The process of selecting a Democratic candidate to run against President Trump is well under way. And we can quibble over the fact that there are too many people running or nitpick some of the candidates, but I think we can agree that, to this point, it’s mostly been a discussion of ideas, as opposed to the contentious Republican debates of four years ago. -Oh, here we go again. -I’m sorry. What was that? -Oh, nothing. You were just elevating…

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National Theatre Live: Present Laughter | Trailer

National Theatre Live: Present Laughter | Trailer

(LIVELY PERCUSSIVE MUSIC) This, to date, is the most irritating morning of my life. (LAUGHTER) I think he’s even more charming off the stage than on, don’t you? I’d no idea you were like this. You’re wonderful. (LAUGHTER) Everybody worships me. It’s nauseating. It would be nice to know what you were really like, under all the trappings. Just a lost boy. You’re going to be 42 next birthday. 41. What are you making such a fuss about, Garry? You…

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The National Emergency We ‘Didn’t Need’

The National Emergency We ‘Didn’t Need’

WELCOME TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) RIGHT OFF THE BAT, WE HAVE TO GET TO THE BIG PRESIDENTIAL STORY THAT BROKE AT THE END OF LAST WEEK. PRETTY DRAMATIC STUFF. THE PRESIDENT ON CAMERA SHOCKING THE NATION –>>HEY THE FIRST PRESIDENTIAL KISS CAM! PRESIDENT CARTER AND ROSALYNN, CAN WE GET A KISS CAM? NO, NO WAVE, A KISS! YEAAAHH! OH, YEAH! WE’RE GOING VIRAL.” ( CHEERS AND…

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