I didn’t see you there. I was just about to
have a delicious chocolate. But now that I have you here.. …let me tell you about our delectably.. …mouth watering sponsor of the day.. ..Panchatara comics.
That’s right. Panchatara is back as
our one and only sponsor.. …but wait!
There’s more. You guys love the comics so much.. ..but you wanted to see another dimension. So, we’re proud to introduce to you.. …the Panchtara cinematic universe. Today I have with me one of
the 5 stars of the first PCU movie. 5 startrek now in 3D. Please welcome on stage
our very own Ramesh man, Suresh. I’m such a huge fan. Thank you so much for coming on this show. We’ve all been waiting
to ask this question. So, Suresh, what does it
feel like playing Ramesh man.. ..on this scrumptious project? Whoa! Riveting!
That’s extremely riveting. Do you think the audience
enjoyed this piece? You know what?
Absolutely. Just take a look at what they have to say. Ramesh man is my favourite character.
When dad comes to his room and… So be sure to watch the movie in theatres
because it has received a rating of 5 stars.. ..out of 5 stars in 3D. Ladies, gentlemen and others,.. ..please give it up for the
favourite of all mothers, Abish Mathews. How are you doing?
Thank you so much for coming. Thank you. So much love and appreciation. Give yourself a round of applause.
This is… All right, I have a very
important announcement today. Tonight I bring you some great news. I’m happy to announce that Son of Abish.. ..has been nominated
for an international Emmy.. ..for the best digital talk show. All right, you can give
me all the applause you want. This is huge! Keep that applause going for the writer,
director, the entire production crew.. This is one of the happiest
moments of my life. I’m so happy I get to share it with you.
Thank you. Yeah now, pull out your phones. Take out your cell phones. Now write Son of Abish
Emmy nomination on Google. Write. You also write. Yeah? Did you find anything confirming
this from a credible news source? No, right? This is how fake news spreads. Yeah! This applause lasted… …longer than most of
the jokes I do on this show. Just because someone has a
microphone doesn’t make them right. You know,
fake news travels faster than light. And Whatsapp is the black hole.. …where truth bends. Yeah. If this doesn’t get a standing ovation,.. …I’ll play the national anthem. The reason the state
of journalism is so bad.. …is because they’re overworked
and heavily underpaid. So, if you see a journalist in an Uber.. …it’s probably because
they’re driving it. In the past decade, India has been the
most dangerous for all journalists globally. We’re also the most
unsafe place for a woman. So, if you’re a woman
who’s a journalist in India.. …you’re the true daredevil. But not all journalists are poor. Some are marketing agencies
for the government. Yeah, they’ve done what most
comedy shows have failed to do. Sell out! Yes. There’s no point even reading
the Indian newspaper anymore. It’s the same old news. Either the sensex is falling
or building are with residents in them. The only difference is
we feel bad for the sensex. Yeah. Deep, right?
Thank you. This morning the reported Mukesh
Ambani is the richest man in India. Okay. That’s redundant but I was kind of happy.. ..because for the first time an Indian
news paper correctly reported a fact. Good job. People say freedom of speech
in India is under threat. That’s a lie. We can say whatever we want. For example..
Let’s try. In Delhi, you can easily talk about.. …how a fascist government
is ignoring crime against minorities.. ..that’s happening in America. Because there’s no crime in India. Because, in India, the biggest
crime you can do to a minority.. …is adding cardamom to biryani. That’s it.
Super peaceful. For example, in Mumbai,.. …you can easily talk
about how the government.. ..is supporting a giant corporation… …ruining the forest cover.. ..that’s happening
in the Amazon rain forest. Because in India we get daughters married. Why would we do that our sons-in-law? Get it? Did you get it? In Kashmir, kids don’t
have to ask permission to go out. ..because everyone’s under curfew. Now, if as a country we
feel we’re not being heard,.. …you don’t have to be worried… …because your voice is being heard. Because you know who’s listening? Wait! Why would you beep that? Are you going to beep every time I say.. C’mon! What if I was going to
say the best government is BJP? Oh, that is fine! But not when I criticise.. That’s…
Fuck this! Fuck off! I won’t allow
censorship on my own show. On my own show,
I’m not going to do any censorship. Stop playing the credit rolls..
No! Show’s still going on. No! And now for no reason at all… ..non violence. Hello, brothers and sisters. We’re here today to attain independence. Gandhiji taught us a good thing. Bharat mata ki jai. Violence is useless.
– Right. If we want independence,
there’s only one way. That is non-violence. Non-violence! Our first guest is an actor who successfully
managed to marry critical acclaim.. ..and commercial success… This is for you. This is the second time
we’ll get to bhask in her glory. Thank you. I love that pun. Our second guest is the man
who’s sticking it up to the man.. ..a stand up comic with a podcast
that has the most ironic name.. ..because the one thing
he cannot do is shut up. Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome on stage… ..Swara Bhaskar and Kunal Kamra. How are you today?
– What’s up? Thank you for coming. Yeah! Wow! Thank you. Hi. – I’m just here because I want
banned Son of Abish trending on Twitter. You think Son of Abish trends on Twitter!
Please! I’m just for Scotland,
I don’t know why. Can I like…
I’m feeling hot. Sure. Do you want me to… I can put it here.
– Sorry guys. Starting with striptease. Yeah, I know. Just like you know…
Cleaves and gloves… Using my sexuality.. Yeah. – Strip and get applauded. I look forward to this comment on Twitter. Keep it right here. It’s a nice place.
Why would you.. I… Are you seeing there’s
more water on my face… ..than in Maharashtra… ..at this point in time? Again I wait for your comments on Twitter. Kunal, here’s the thing. There’s idea… Nobody knows anything about you
other than you’re a stand up comedian. And a propagandist. And..
– Propagandist. And a propagandist also?
Nice. Were you always like
this in school as well? Yeah, we were always paid by the Congress. Yeah. I know! Used the hand since childhood? Rahul Gandhi used to get
my tiffin at the reception. We used to jam on it. Jam on it! Yeah, I mean..
I’ve had a very ordinary life. That’s why I don’t talk about
it because there’s nothing… …there than born and brought in Mumbai. And stayed in the
same pincode all my life. So, it has no dimension. I’m just keeping quiet about my past. It’s better if nobody knows. Your parents must be feeling so… My life has been super boring. Super boring. I did 10 years in advertising.
What can be more boring than that? I mean, money is good. Yeah, money was…
That’s why I did it. Did you get into the acting industry
through movies or ads like everybody else? No, I did my first.. …bit of work was a
film that never got released. The next early bit of work was
ads after like some 5,000 rejections. Right. – I got case
in an ad for the south. Which means only for
the southern languages. Right. And it was a soap ad. I thought it was Lyril or Lux types… I will bathe and all that. When I come on set and there’s
a 4 year old kid calling me aunty. My career hasn’t even begun.. …and he called me aunty! And then I’m just like.. Anyway that child was a star.. …because he’d done a lot of work. And you know kids are real.. I mean, children are
basically evil, right? Yeah. They figure out who’s a star.. ..and who’s not. So, that child grasped
my standing in 2 minutes. He just goes on and we’re.. We were shooting and
I had to bathe this menace… And this child is asking somebody.. Miss, I want to pee. That asst. director was busy. He was sitting and I felt pity… …for that wicked child. Then I was just like, excuse me.. …the child has to go to the bathroom. So can we just take him? He’s like, no problem, aunty.
I did it. And I’m like! I’m like no, but… And then roll camera and they’re like.. No, roll camera,
the water’s getting cold and stuff. In that water with pee and that child… Wow! I’ve come home and I’ve bathed in phenyl. This kid will get a ticket from the BJP.. Dude, this is some… This is one of my early
experiences in Mumbai. The kid was the first troll
you ever encountered in your life. He simply peed. Yeah, thanks, Abish. Just trying to put… I feel like that was an Easter
egg like in Marvel movies… ..of what’s about to come.
– Yeah. Not bad. At least that’s
how you started it, right? But after that you became
this huge sensation.. …and Kunal also became
a huge viral sensation. So when we used to do mikes together.. …Kunal was always doing his 10,
15 30 minutes. Then he made a decision
to start hosting gigs. And he went on stage almost
everyday because he was hosting it.. …and then suddenly
I think you sold your… Sold to the devil or something like that? And then you became really funny. And then suddenly from
funny he became poignant. And I was like..
His career is on steroids. Okay, I’m a little nervous of this guy. I don’t know, man. He’s paying you a very
long winded compliment. Yeah.. It’s like… – The compliment is coming. I can’t compliment another
comedian looking him in the eye. Or another person. I’d say I really
like your work and you’re good at it. I used to host a lot of gigs
and a lot of comedians used to.. ..do their sets for the first time. I was an extra douche
to them when they used to bomb. Like when they used try a set and
bomb in 4 minutes, I used to say please… ..give it up for this person… This is a first time
he’s doing a ted talk… Yeah I was. I was not sensitised. Was? – Yeah. Okay cool.
– I mean.. With time you learn
where to pick your battles. I’ve got some coffee for you if you want. Thank you. You’re welcome. Cheers! Cheers! And nothing for Kunal because..
– Yeah I’m good. Bollywood tantrums. Kunal doesn’t eat, drink or do anything. He’s always on a strike.
– Yeah. All right, you said you’ve
been to places and you’ve… …campaigned and everyone’s lost. You campaigned for Kanhaiya Kumar. So did he!
That’s not just on me, right? So did Jaaved and a
whole bunch of other people. I share that guilt
with a lot of other people. Oh! Why….
That’s what I’m saying… That’s something you campaigned for. Let’s say he didn’t win. It’s all about positivity. Why do you want to say he lost.. …when we can say
he didn’t win this time? Yeah. – It is easy. Is it coming to you guys? Look they’re smiling. Yeah, I mean,
everything Swara touches turns to dust. This… She campaigned for 4 people… 6 by the way. 6! Okay. And one of them lost to a terror accused. So you have to imagine… That’s what like.. I love how in this situation
where there’s a terror accused.. ..a politician and I’m the
one with all the guilt and blame. Yeah. – Thanks very much, guys. That’s what Twitter does. Yeah. I was named by Sanghi Twitter. National curse. National curse! I was like the basket ball
team didn’t reach the nationals.. ..but in curse! National curse. The day the election… I can just see the brands going away. I’m just looking at
the brands evaporating. But the day the election
results came out,.. …I was just like mind fucked… ..expecting the level of
trolling that would happen to me. And you were on some show
that was analysing the results. And just to feel better,
I went to Swara’s field. And then I was like
whatever’s going on here… …nothing! It’s comparatively nothing… ..to what’s going on here. That was fun. You’ve actually on Twitter…
Come to think of it… ..you’ve pinned Twitter is like..
Inviting the bull’s wrath. Excuse me, are you going to drink water?
Come here. Come hit me. I’m just like.. own it. What to do? People are giving so much… ..I’d rather take it. Own the identity. But generally what’s the weirdest
trolling event that’s happened to you? You must have so many.
A new one each day. I mean, the thing I didn’t expect… ..was when I was at the airport.. There were two things.
One was actually sweet. I was once at the airport and a troll.. First he came and took a selfie.
He confirmed if I was Swara Bhaskar. It was 4 am and I was in Kolkata
taking a flight to god knows where.. …and the hair was looking like shit.. …and I thought he must love me. To have recognised
me in that state meant… So, I was like yes.. ..and he took a picture
and he was still lurking. Where? – You notice when somebody’s like.. You know like that. And then he came back and said,
Excuse me, I’ve something to say. I thought it’d be a proposal or something. You never know with fans. And then he’s like I’ve written
a lot against you on Twitter. Honest lover. I thought he wanted
to flirt with you because he was… Better give 100 bucks. Yeah, man. But he was sweet.
He had a nice conversation. Then he was like I’m
Modi bhakt and I was like.. But we had a nice conversation
and then he was like I won’t anymore. That’s what..
– He was like I met you in person. So I was like.. Then I thought of telling
all the trolls to have a meet up. Yeah. – A troll meet up like tweet up. Come. – Great idea. Meet me. I’m a nice person. You guys will agree. If you organise with trolls… Say yes. Yes. You guys are like.. They agree with you.
– Sorry. If you organise a meet up with trolls.. …then they’ll like you and
the prime minister will do that with us. Come, meet us.
– But you had to delete your twitter. Yeah. – Why did you delete it? What happened is one fine day,
my number got leaked. And it was like too much chaos. And then I was like
do I really need twitter? Let me just see how
I feel if I go off Twitter. And I went off Twitter for 45 days. And I deleted Twitter.
I didn’t want to come back. But then I was like I’m
actually letting them win. Right. – Just by… …being there and knowing your thing.. …and still being happy in your life… …you’re winning. But if you delete Twitter
and go off a platform… ..because people are trolling you a lot,
they’re winning. So I.. – It’s a complicated
mind game of who’s a bigger ‘thethar’. You know this word ‘thethar’?
– No. Are there any Bihars here? None? In Mumbai? Thethar is commonly used in… A Hindi word used in Bihar.
It means a ‘dheet’ person. What’s that?
– Bad ass. No, real stubborn. ‘Moti chamdi’ kind of person. What’s ‘chamdi’? We’re rolling this in Bandra.
They won’t understand. Thick skinned. Thick skinned, yeah. Who will just not let go. Basically Twitter is a competition in.. ..in ‘thetarism’. ‘Thetarism’. It should become Thethar. Thweatar. Thwethar. I was on Thwetar. We both are. Yes.. – ‘Thetar’. I feel like it. Just tweet it.. ..and just don’t see the
replies and enjoy your life. What’s the way to this
repercussion you’ve got.. …because you’ve been trolled
and these things that happened? I mean just the usual like
cancelling of shows and like.. By the way,
usually shows don’t get cancelled. If you’re wondering usual show
cancellation, that’s not cancellation at all. How many shows have
gotten cancelled so far? A lot of things I
don’t get approached for. Yeah. – But from the things
that have been confirmed.. …and the ticket links were put up..
4-5 such shows were cancelled. I just feel it’s good… Firstly, that’s a clear sign that
whatever you’re doing makes a difference. Okay. – That’s why it gets cancelled. And secondly it’s on somebody’s resume. As in? – Whoever cancels the show.. …is aspiring to have
a career in politics, right? Okay. – What is his resume made of? Show cancellations.. …smearing an author’s face with ink,.. …deflated tires of 2 Muslims.. Got a couple thrashed. Cancelling Kunal Kamra’s
show would top the list. Wow, you’re creating jobs. It’s such a proud moment
that I am somebody’s currency. Like they have me..
Maybe 50 years he’ll die alone.. ..still that will
be the top of his rescue. This positivity is just… ..like too much. Also it is..
– You’re welcome. You know I’m not a
big fan of working anyway. So..
– Yeah! So the day a show gets cancelled,
I’m like no school today. He’s winning when you cancel his shows. I know my joke. I’ve to repeat, it’s nothing new. It’s validated on funny quotient. There’s money in the account.
Let’s chill. I’m pretty chilled out that way. This Sunday again there’s
an adventure sport in Ahmedabad. Yeah.. I mean I hope they cancel
it before I get there. Otherwise I’ve to pretend
to enjoy the food and ambience there. But for comedy, it’s important that you.. As comedians we write things
we feel passionate about. If you are so politically driven,.. …has that been a
passion since childhood? Or is that a…
– No, I think.. ..it’s just something
that happened in 2016. I think 15 is when
Rohith Vemula happened.. …16 is when JNU happened and
that’s when I got hooked on to the news. Before that you knew my comedy.
It was like a bunch of gig jokes. It’s like the life you lead
is the content you’ll create. If you watch the news all day.. …you’ll speak that on stage. Yeah. – It cannot be like in the evening.. ..you’ll say most people
carry condoms and I carry oregano. It’s not going to be like that. That was a joke that Kunal had. Most
people carry condoms I carry chilli flakes. Oregano seasoning. Just a clarification,
not to use it on my dick. Just putting it out there.
Don’t try this at home. Oh okay. Yeah.. – It’s normal like.. ..some comedian gets divorced. He’ll talk about divorce.
Somebody gets married, he’ll talk of that. Somebody’s father-in-law dies,
he’ll not talk about it.. …because he wants
to maintain his marriage. But whatever like.. I’m saying you have an experience,
you have to create content about it. Is that the same things with you?
Because you’re reading so much news.. ..you understand exactly what’s going on? You’re like I cannot turn a blind
eye to everything that’s happening. Firstly, I was never on Twitter. My PR forced me to be on Twitter. And then they regretted
it their whole life. And then they left me, so.. On Twitter they give you suggestions what you
want to follow when you make an account. And you follow what you’re interested
in so I followed all news channels. Right. – Magazines, literature… So, my timeline was full of the news. And the news is just full of shit… ..because all kinds of horrible
things happen in the world. So, I was just reacting to stuff.. ..because I was told
if you feel something,.. …press the re tweet.
I didn’t think so much about it.. ..until I started getting hit by this.. ..trolling and until my Twitter.. …time line became more popular
than the parts I play in films. Like my Twitter timeline is
better than fucking Anarkali of Arra. Yeah. – If my Twitter
timeline was on a film,.. …it’d have got better box office.. Returns?
– Yeah. See that’s why you’re
critically acclaimed. I don’t want to have it again.
We’ve done it in the past. That’s why I said critically acclaimed,
married with .. What was the other line? Commercial success, Abhi. Taught you last time.
– I’ll do it again. She’s married critical
acclaim with commercial success.. …with so much finesse. Thank you. Added his own words too. No but I think I agree with Kunal. I think you shouldn’t seal a space. I know I repeat this
but you can’t say it enough… ..that social media is a public sphere. It’s a virtual public sphere. The restaurant, a bust stop, a road… If we don’t.. All decent people here..
If we’re walking on a road,.. ..and we saw a person being beaten up.. …we’d stop them or maybe we’d not. I don’t know. – Maybe now we would not. But I’m just saying that if you.. I think it’s basic human decency.. …if there’s something
wrong happening in front of you.. If it’s within your means
and will not cost you your life.. …then you’ll probably
be like don’t do it. You help a person out. So, why do we not do that
in our public virtual sphere? Yeah. – I really feel like we… ..strive to keep our
physical public spheres.. ..decent and civil.. ..we have to do the same
in our virtual public sphere. True otherwise it becomes an
echo chamber and the loudest one wins. Basically… – Anyone with
a microphone isn’t always right. Yeah. On a.. Yeah, so now I realise,
every time you guys are on Twitter,.. …people are finding
ways to morph your faces and.. …make fake things that… …go viral on Whatsapp.
– Yeah they… They credit jokes… ..to me which are really funny. I’ve not said them. So here I’d want you to hold… ..a very large placard.. ..and..
– Let people get creative. Yeah this is a gift. This is a gift to our troll. Okay trollers, go for it. Now this is a frame.
This is a good time to take a photo. Everything’s perfect?
Awesome. My manager’s crying over there. I can see. Wonder what will happen. It’ll be a total disaster. On the count of three. 2, 1, cheese. Awesome. Well done. This is such good sports. I feel I should gift it to you. Yeah, man. And don’t forget to use
the hashtag Son of Abish. You’re plugging your show on.. ..by burning our careers. You don’t realise, if haters start
watching my show, at least I go viral. What do I get from positivity? Nobody’s watching. I want controversy. Do I take it off?
No.. Won’t help me in anyway. Swara, you have a.. …lifelong fight with footwear. If you check her Instagram stories.. I think sometimes what happens is.. …when there are 100 events that happen,
you choose to project.. …only two of those and everyone’s like.. …shoes don’t fit you. Your Instagram stories… ..your posts and tweets.. Most of the times it’s about footwear… ..breaking down on you.
– Yeah. It’s always.. No, you know the thing
is heels have been.. I consider the fact
that I can stand straight.. …in heels to be one of my crowning
achievements in my career of Bollywood. Okay. – Because I was that kid.. …who wore Jeans, kurta, jhola… ..chappal and made fun
of girls who wore make-up… ..to college. JNU, got it. Now look at me. All right. – So the first time.. It’s this whole process of.. ..you’ve looked a certain
and I’ve struggled with my soul. Because that’s how stupid I am. It’s been a struggle with your soul? Yeah I was like looks and all.. Took me a long time to
realise I wasn’t getting work.. …because I go like this to meetings. You go to meetings with jholas. So, I actually think.. Look at me. I’m sitting here in heels. I think this is an achievement, right?
– Yeah. But then you know heels fucking pain. They are really painful. After a point, I feel I’m done… ..and I can take them off but no. Because paparazzi is everywhere. They will capture that as well. So I did my whole red carpet thing. This is at IIFA, right? I did the red carpet
in those god awful heels. ..which were very pretty and nice.. …of a very expensive
brand but whatever… ..and then I got off the red
carpet and the next celebrity was there… ..who was way bigger than
me so they’d be interested in that.. And I was ready to take them off.. The moment I was like… There was camera and
I was pleading don’t… Hence, that photo.. I was just like.. I know why I’m so stupid.. ..because I’m always nice
to photographers and I feel like.. ..we have an understanding. Yeah. – I posed on the
red carpet now spare me. And I don’t understand..
I feel like.. One day I was at the chemist. And I was looking like death… …because I had fever. And I’m literally buying paracetamol. They came there as well. Madam madam and I’m like.. This is a chemist. I’m holding a paracetamol. So I got clicked like that. So I just…
Basically.. …I troll myself. I just keep giving fodder.. Bollywood photographers
have a Whatsapp group. ..where they’re all sending your… If you’re on camera,
she’s going to make a face.. There, got it. I went to Lalbaug for prayers. I lost my footwear there. I mean, it’s obvious and I thought okay.. So I was going back
bare feet like an idiot… ..because it’s like a 500
km journey out of that place. Did you wear those same expensive heels?
They were sure to get robbed. No, but I wore nice footwear… ..because I was also like, you know.. I had to post it.
– Correct. On Instagram. Sorry, god! Sorry, god! But Instagram..
– I’m telling you and I want to say this.. ..I’ll click a photo of
the paparazzi in the bathroom. I will do it. I will do it. One day I will be photographing them. The last time you’d come.. ..we gave you something..
Wait.. The last time you came we gave you some#
cat related things.. – Yes. For you this time
around we’ve got a box… ..with your name on it. There’s some things in
there for me as well. Thank you. Open that if you don’t mind.
Yeah, open it. Yeah! – It’s a ribbon on a box. Thank you. That’s very sweet. I love presents.
– We give you shoes with a lock on it. Every time you go to
Lalbaug and everywhere else.. That is so cool! I love it. I love it. Thank you. You’re welcome. And.. – That’s so cool. The lock is really cool. This is perhaps the
best gift I’ve ever got. Yeah, what happened to.. …season 3 gift? That wasn’t good?
– What season 3? I didn’t know you were into giving gifts.
– I like that. Kunal, we’ve got you something
you’re passionate about. Your spelling is absolutely correct. It’s a smaller gift because.. I’m checking the size meanwhile. You’re checking the size? – Yeah.
– Okay. Do we check.. We check the size, okay. Is the right size.
We took it from your manager. Research. I have a feeling it’s
the new Iphone 11 in this. Oh wow, Abish.
It’s a black mug. Because.. Wow, that’s a massive let down. Do I have to pretend to like this? So, you literally just gave him this.. ..after giving me a
box of really nice shoes? Yeah I just wanted to say.. …you’re the stain on this nation,
we gave one to you. Okay. Even I’m surprised. That’s what it is. Gender bias is real! Men are the real victims. Yeah, men are the real victims. All right, Kunal, give that to me. No, I’m going to take it. No, give that to me. He has a real gift. No, give the glass to me.
Not the whole thing. I’m confused if you’re
high or want to be high on weed! Both. Because I want you to.. I want magic to happen. Every time you wake up in the morning.. ..when you serve yourself
a hot cup of coffee.. …or a hot cup of tea.. …I would want you to.. …always be reminded
of what you stand for. Very few people actually
stand for what it is. And what you stand for is.. It’s going to slowly… Time lapse mode activated in 3.. ..2, 1. Nice! Everyday in the morning… ..when he gets up, he can just drink it. That’s why it’s on the right side
so you can see it when you drink. – Cool. That’s fucking good. I have a better gift than Swara. Thanks, Abish. You’re welcome. We also put a little bit of you in it. This is when you were fat. So, to remind you this can happen again. This is me in the past. And this will be me in the future also. It’s so cool. Great gift, guys. You can drink the water
or I can keep it here. Thank you so much for coming both of you. I’m very excited to play games
with you and I’ll be honest why. More than the interview,
I was excited about the games.. ..because you’re really good at games. You’re good at conversations. Kunal’s really good at conversations.. …but he’s the most
awkward when it comes to.. …doing anything that requires him to..
– Move! Even sex like.. Yeah, fair enough.
Good heads up. We weren’t that good friends… ..to know that. All right, we’ll now play some games.. Swara and I are going
to have a lot of fun. We’re in the same team again? Well, we can decide. Okay, because we lost last time. So maybe this time we’ll be better. Okay, positivity..
This damn.. Positivity! All right time for transition
for us to go into games. Transition in 3, 2,1. Activate after effects file. And now for no reason at all.. Red flags on dates. Hey, I added you on Facebook. Common friends good.
– Yeah. Puja Sharma. Oh, Puja Sharma!
She comes to my cross fit. She’s not been coming for a week.
How do you know her? Excuse me, waiter. Can you please clear the table? In our world, food isn’t left uneaten. Everything’s finished. Such a terrible day. And then I was like, mom,
so what if one of your arms is broken? The other one’s working.
Just make me tea. And then you know how it is, right? I kill my neighbour’s
cat and buried it under a bush. Oh my God! Me too. Really?
– Yeah. Just slashed… Wow! Forward. That’s it. Okay, good. Now that the applause has
happened and you also know that… …I read shit off the Teleprompter.. …let me read shit off the Teleprompter. You know, let’s read it together. Okay. 3, 2, 1 Teekhe game is kind
of like the game of Taboo. But the players have to
eat really spicy pani puri.. ..before they start the round. But 1, 2, 3…
Abish count, oh! That’s also written! Okay read it together.
But.. 1, 2, 3.. We’re three of us. We need a 4th player. Calling on stage.. ..we have Saurav Mehta.. ..stand up comic and
ex-write of Son of Abish… ….who left us to do better things.. ..like participate in the game.. ..for Son of Abish. Ladies and gentlemen,.. Yes, buddy. Hi. Kunal. This is Swara. This is Saurav. What did you give for..
– It was like hi. This felt very corporate suddenly. So the game is spicy taboo. We’ll have a couple of rounds. As you can see in front of us we have.. It’s called puchkas or.. …golgappas or pani puris..
– Puri. Is it called anything else?
– Pani batasha, mirch ke gole.. It has a different name
in every part of India. Fattening..
– Actually that, yeah Called carb. Scientifically.
– Fried carb. The game is very simple.
We’ll be playing.. ..a game of taboo like we play. The only difference is before
you start the game of taboo.. ..the team members
will have to take a shot… …of the spicy water that we have. You guys are team captains. I don’t know, he sucks. How is he? I’m bad. – Is he good?
– Are you bad? But like everyone’s better than Abish. Oh my god! Just joking. – I think known devil. Yes, known devil. Yeah! – Two curses together. All right.
– Oh my god, lose. We got this.
– Okay. Now, I do not know
what the words here are. So now do you want to start or should we? You’ve to come up with a team name.
What’s it going to be? Abish, I’m not doing that crap again. My name team is… ..Just Azaadi. Whoa! I have to go home actually. My career’s just started. Azaadi. – What’s ours going to be? Ours is the new word I taught Abish,
Thethar. Thethar. Azaadi Vs Thethar. Azaadi Vs Thethar. All right. Bon appetit Whoa! We have to take the more spicy one. Okay. I worked with this person. Nobody wanted to be his sister but… Shahrukh Khan.
– No. There are others like him. 3 super stars. Aamir, Salman. Salman Khan.
Yes, got it. Nice, 1.
– Okay. This is a mammal… ..which lives in the freezing
extremities of the globe. Polar bear. Yes, got it.
Next. Oh! I love this man. What is the most powerful
country in the world? India. – No! Times up. What is it? Barak Obama! We got 2. I love how he handled
patriotic moment right there. Good job. We ‘ll take a… We’ll take a shot. Yeah. – As soon as
you’re done with the shot.. We’ll start. – Cool.
– Mom, this is just fun. This game should be called diarrhoea. Oh my god! Which will be tomorrow.
Start. Go. You made this tree in school drawings. Neem, banyan. It has such tiny hand like leaves. I don’t know tree names. Which tree is found in the middle east? Dmitri! Coconut, bamboo..
– Another one. Guys.. – Hint is name another one. Clue. The one that grows in the desert.
– No. Desert… He’s getting annoyed with you. Guys, this is very….
Next one. Okay cool, next one. What? What’s mine? I mean… What’s my job? Comedy, non sense. In terms of profit.. …what’s it called?
– Prophecy. No. – Times up. I love this game. I love this game. What do you think it was? Last try.
You still won’t get points. Kunal started with what’s yours. That was a hint. Okay, now.. This team is not vibing at all. You’re a blemish on Kolkata.
You don’t know the tree. What was the other one? From profitability sense,
what’s my career? But what’s yours? Can be anyone in the world. Yeah, that’s true.
– Abi, I just came to eat pani puri. Palm tree. The tree was palm tree. Okay. This is really spicy. We weren’t kidding. Okay. You could’ve spiked it with alcohol. Wait till he gets an alcohol sponsor. There’s a shop in Bandra Al’s.
What do they do? Restaurant? No, Al’s. I don’t live in Bandra. There are skulls outside the shop. So what could be inside? – Chemist? No.. Hey, relax. You can’t help also. And that’s one of the words. No. – Cosmetics? Yeah. – Tattoo. Tatoo. – That’s technically… Yeah, now don’t support.
– Shhh. Oh this is a kind of a cigarette. Internationally sold. Vaping? It’s not found in India. No, it’s a brand name.. ..but it’s… I don’t know all this.. Arabian nights. What do they walk on? Hookah, nicotine, tobacco..
I don’t know… Wrong track. Oud, Camel! Yes! But it’s time’s up though. I got that. I got camel. And you have no idea
how hard I was trying. What is this?
– Not to make one camel reference. Cheers! We’re anyway losing.
– You’re playing? I have to make you..
– Go. Drink it all. Pani puri. Okay, go.
– Kamra, ready? Got it. In relation, I’m your..
– Father. Name’s Shehenshah.
Amitabh Bachchan. Oh! – What the fuck! Don’t show, rascal! He saw that. You have to say it. You have to say. Okay. – That’s cheating. Guys, they really want to.. win.
– You can’t do that. You have to say words.
– Yeah. Got it. – Which is the greatest country? Who after Obama? Donald Trump. See, he got that. Shit! He doesn’t know who’s that. Before Comicstan..
– Great Indian Laughter Challenge. That’s not fair.
– Sunil Pal. That’s not fair. Okay. If I don’t know anything,
I will take out.. …my phone and will *** it? Scroll it.
– No. If I need some information..
– I Google it. You can’t use *** What? – No *** *** and if I’m hungry… Time’s up but still try… Abish, where the.. They got 2. We got 4. Abish.. It’s okay. West Bengal rocks!
– Thanks, guys. Last one was bread which
is not available in West Bengal. Okay, 3, 2,1 Okay, these small.. ..irritating things come in your
ears and buzz. – Mosquito. One. It’s a small thing.. ..that lives on the floor..
– Cockroach. It’s brother with a long tail. Some reptile.. Lizard. Rat. Yes. – Got it. Nice. Oh, when you take your phone out.. …and
– Selfie. No, it’s a platform where you can.. Twitter. You put pictures. Instagram. Got it, 3. It’s an irritating two-legged thing… ..that tastes very good.
– Kunal Kamra! Two legged thing that tastes very good? Chicken.
– Yes. This guy.. Yeah he’s into film industry..
– Okay. And what he says, everyone listens to.. But everyone hates him. And he’s like a critic… ..but with no…
– Time’s up. Who? – I still got to try. Still try. – Who was it? Kamal Khan. You said review and
I was like that’s not.. I hope he’s not watching this because.. If you’re watching it,
don’t forget to subscribe. I want subscription, sorry. How many did we get? How many did we get?
– 4. – 3. You going to cheer for them? I think Kunal should.. Kunal’s good at guessing.
– In school when you’re… …*** teacher comes… ..made you draw palm tree.
– PT teacher. Drawing teacher. What’s it called when there’s a lot of it? When there’s lot of palm trees? Scenery. Yes. Some people are dog people. Others are? Cat people.
– Damn it! Fuck! What do you call…
** Effect was a movie… ..where some small things happen… ..and make it like a big thing. Why no time up? There was a movie **
Effect with Ashton Kutcher. Okay… I don’t watch English films. Red, blue, green, purple.. ..lavender, something bright… Yellow.
– Time out! Where’s the time? Control, alt.. Oh man! Won, right?
Yes. Who was saying I’m not good at games? Guys, truth always triumphs. What I feel terrible about… ..there is this… ..good.
– Whoever made this pani puri… …is such a crook. My insides are burning! I just want to say… ..fuck the camaraderie. Okay? In the future Abish.. ..let’s take the hint. We make a shitty team. Yeah, we do. But we were so close. Swara lost so much.. I just remembered the
2019 Lok Sabha elections. That was bad… You’re the same height as Kanhaiya. I should’ve known.
– I really am a curse. I really am a curse. The last time also.. It was me. This is like a proper break-up. It wasn’t you. When Swara breaks up she genuinely means
it was me! All right,… Thank you so much for watching.
Once again Saurav Mehta, everybody. Please give a huge round
of applause for Swara Bhaskar. And Kunal Kamra. Thank you so much for watching. Son of Abish picks coming up next.
So don’t go anywhere. But you guys, good night. Tonight on Son of Abish picks,
we present to you Arunaja. You’d definitely recognise
her from the show… …the stage show, one of the finalists.
Excited to have you today. Thank you so much for having me. You’d be performing
at the NH 7 music festival.. ..in Pune on 30th November. Do you want to tell everyone
which stage it is? The way you told me. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Sorry, do you want to say the… ..word. Ex What will you perform for us tonight? Today I’ll do an acoustic
version of my debut single Broken… ..that I got to release
with Universal Music India. Nice and now we’ll get to
experience that and while you sing.. ..our friend Vignesh will play the guitar. Ladies and gentlemen and others,
we present Broken by Arunaja. ”I’m not quite sure about”.. ..”how to start”.. ..my story’.. ”Let me try to be so clear”.. ”But if I’ not”.. ..”I’m sorry”. ”Words have always been a stranger.” ”Well I’m not a talker.” ”I’m not a good one.” ”My heart is broken…” ..”a thousand times, almost bleeding.” ..”like the river Nile.” ”My heart is broken…” ..”a thousand times”.. ..”almost bleeding…” ..”like the river Nile.” ”When life is unkind,
I listen to my heart.” ”And I’m okay”… ”Tears will be on my side.” ”And I’m okay”… ”Pain is just so real. All I can feel”.. ..”is a numbness all over me.” ”Feels like only truth”.. ..”to life”.. ”To life..” ”My heart is broken”.. ..”a thousand times.” ”Almost bleeding”.. ..”like the river Nile.” ”My heart is broken”.. ”My heart is broken”.. ”I’m not quite sure about”.. ..”how to start”.. ..”my story.” In the next episode.. Hi. Sir, you’re Abish Mathew, right? Yes. I’m your biggest fan. I’ve seen all your videos. Sir, Son of Abish, Journey of a Joke,
Breezer Vivid, Comicstaan.. I’ve seen the roast too. Wow! Thank you.
– I’ve changed my name too, sir. My name is also Abish Mathew. Look at my card. I’ve changed my child’s name too
It’s Son of Abish. Full name, Son of Abish, Abish Mathew. But we call him Kenny with love. The Habitat turn went behind.. Yes, sir.
I know that. Is there a short cut ahead? No, sir. Then?