NRIs Aur Desh Bhakti | Stand-up Comedy by Punit Pania

NRIs Aur Desh Bhakti | Stand-up Comedy by Punit Pania


I still remember
when I was passing out from college There was this brief period of time during which The Australian government, they pretended to care for our students And our students, they pretended to study also So half my batch left migrated, overnight, tadipaar! Sabse ghatiya student Jo kabhi dikha nahi college main teen saal ‘Tu bhi jaayega chutiye?’ Bolta hai, ‘Haan yaar, padhai important hai!’ Jo haath main aaya: MBA in Marine Biology
Theek hai! Do-do dena, parcel! Jaan ja raha hai yahaan pe… And so many people left that even I started thinking ki jaate hain kya? Apun bhi jaayega na yaar Kab tak rahega… …Kandivali main? So I thought a lot man
But it never appealed to me That lonely NRI life where you are away in some cold county abroad just counting the days… and the exchange rate You get to come home once a year during Christmas And then you pretend that it’s Diwali! Waise Christmas bhi hota hai yahaan pe aaj kal, kaafi hota hai na? Kandivali main bacche aaj bhi
Santa Claus ko Jingle Bell bol rahe hain! Jingle Bell! Daddu hai ye bechaara Darbhanga se aaya tha kamaane ke liye Dekh kya haalat ho gaya hai bechaare ka Usko Nachva rahe hain hum log laal gown pehenake Ye hai tera First World… In December you go to SukhSagar restaurant All the waiters they are wearing Santa hats And they are serving Methi-Peas-Malai And just dying inside So I never liked that dual existence Coz as an NRI, you are a completely different person there There you are following all the rules Even the rules that don’t exist! You are bending over backwards for the white man Haan yes Sir Sir, no Sir Sir thoda gaand pe maaro na Sir, maza aata hai hum log ko! Reng raaha hai, Chuha hai wahaan pe woh When he comes back here, yahaan pe hero hai woh Raat ko andhere main ghoom raha hai goggles daal ke chutiye ke jaisa Sab ko tip baant raha hai Waiter ko tip, Uber driver ko tip …Mere ko tip! I am like, ‘Dude, I am your friend.’ ‘Sorry yaar woh paisa bahut jyaada ho gaya hai na mere paas!’ Khaali-fukat waapis aa rahe hain Bhaav badha rahe hain Bisleri ka Yahaan pe koi hai kya koi? NRI? Ab to koi bolega bhi nahi
…do log hain Do log ka Ghar Waapsi hua hai yahaan pe Waise abhi seasaon nahi hai na
May ho gaya abhi They have a mating season Dec_Jan They are like Flamingoes Aaya – Shaadi kiya – Chala gaya… Parcel leke Wahan se forward bhej raha hai…Hingewadi waala Theek hai, if you feel
yahaan pe Hong Kong ho chuka hai… come back! Waapis aao – bharo GST yahaan pe Dekho kitna maza aata hai WiFi pe Desh Bhakti ho raha hai You guys have been great so far, are you guys having fun? You have been great but I must tell you that… The best audience in the world… Are NRIs They are the best audience man Because they are so happy all the time And they are so forgiving Woh log ek apne alag trip pe rehte hain pata hai It’s a parallel Universe DC – Marvel – NRIs So much that when we perform for them We dont’t even have to do… …jokes We just have to go up on stage and say B…C! – Standing Ovation! Wah! Kya bola hai! Apna aadmi hai. Wah! Desh ki Mitti! Dil jeet liya Bhai, kya maza aa gaya yaar! You don’t need jokes there you don’t need talent also You just need to know three words BC, Pav Bhaji, Modi!
Khatam! Naach raha hai Hi-fi de rahe hain, miss ho raha hai Uncle apna baniyaan phek raha hai stage pe Ye aadmi hai ki Maseeha hai ye Wah! Ye Aarat hai Aarat! That’s it. And then all you can say is, ‘Thank you for listening that’s my time.’ Ab itna bol diya hai to I will tell you one more thing It’s not like I hate NRIs They are nice people some of them But one thing I think they need very badly …is a reality check Which is why I feel that NRI communities abroad They should also organize occasional riots Occasional, sometimes. Tereko chahiye na Desh ki Mitti? To soongh B’sdike, yahi hai Desh ki Mitti, ye hau! Baaki ka time karo muzhra, bulao Shah Rukh ko

100 thoughts on “NRIs Aur Desh Bhakti | Stand-up Comedy by Punit Pania

  1. Matlab Comedy ke naam pe Propoganda ho raha hai. Joke ke naam pe bejati kar rahe hai, air bolte hai sahoo. Kya chutiya hai

  2. पनीआ की मार लो गंडिया.
    और फिर दे दो २ समोसा और t शर्ट करता रहेगा मुजरा स्टेज पर

  3. punti punia ko lagta hai kisi "N R I" ne laga diya hai chuniya ,bahot ghra jakham de ke gaya hai,ya toh woh khud "N R I " bante bante reh gaya ,so kisi NRI ko dekh kar gaand me mirchi lag gaye hai woh bho QUANTITY me,jo ki joro se SULAG RAHI HAI ,JALNE KI BOO MUJE YAHAN TAK MASOOS HO RAHI HAI,YA TOH KISI NRI NE IS BEHEN KA RISHTA THUKRA DIYA HOGA ,IS LIYE APNI BHADAS NIKAL RAHA HAI BOSS D KA,TU TOH ABHI 4-5 SAAL GST BHARTA HOGA "SHAYED",BUT HUM YAHAN PE JAB SE AAYE HAIN TABSE GST BHARTE HAIN,EXCHANGE RATE KI HUM KO TENSION NAHI HAI WOH TOH DIN B DIN BHADTA HI HAI PROBLEM TUJEH JYADA HO RAHI HAI ,HUM KO HAR SAAL BETTRE RATE MILTA HAI,CHUTIYE LAUDE.SAALA KUTTA.

  4. Find something else to do…even kids have these jokes now to say…you don’t need a stage to say these kind of Gali jokes!!

  5. Flamingos aya parcel leke chala gaya… wifi pe desh bhakti.. gst Bharke dekh 🤣👍👍👍💯😂 desi marvels 😂

  6. Next time someone asks me what does truly define underrated, I'll show your videos! Damn, your content is always so tight man, KEEP IT UP Punit! 👍

  7. Punit ji … i am a nri and i have become your fan after listening to this … superb and very well observed… keep up the great work… waiting to see more videos

  8. Besides fun this episode is too much bias. Most of the time people go to abroad from India because the fact is India doesn't provide quality life.

  9. For the people who are calling NRI's names, remember one thing NRI's build their life in another country (Job, house, cars etc), send money back to India religiously and regularly (which is usually at least equal to , if not more, than the lowest amount of tax paid by an Indian citizen) which is spend in India, contributing towards the growing economy even when they are not living in India. Oh Yes, they invest in large amounts in Indian stock markets, in banks etc. So essentially they are helping 2 countries to grow. Just because it is easy to speak ill about someone , don't.

  10. NRI’s like modi because BJP promoters have done great viral videos of how much great Modi is and that every Indian is proud of him. Honestly the people who praise modi abroad most of them are not even Indian. They are gujjus from Africa example Kenya, Uganda, South Africa who were supported by Modi during the racial tensions in Africa. Rest of the supporters are just like sheep following blindly. Apart from Modi currently there is no strong leader in India. The next after modi who is strong is Jagan Mohan Reddy. Rest are all pawns of BJP.

  11. The very 1st line!! OMG.. Great content.. Superb act.. hillarious and relatable.. 😄😄😄😄

  12. Well dumbo, being a loser stay in india aur nri ka bhonsda hi soongo. waise bhi tumhaaari aukaath hai chamiyon waali toh nri se gaad toh jalegi. hahahaha.  Riots karte raho chutiye aur free ha gaye toh rape ko bhi promoite karo. isse zyaada toj kuch hone se raha tujh Dhakkan se

  13. Why get so defensive at the end? Lol, as an NRI I can tell you that it wasn't offensive; there are actually hypocrite people who circulate stuff like India is now Hong Kong and crap. The truth is it'll take a couple of hundred years and a civil war and then a dictatorship to get India to the right path. And the reality is whoever gets a chance to escape always does

  14. Best stand up comedian ever in India.
    Honesty and philosophy blurring the line between horror and comedy this guy is a master.

  15. Poor unfunny bald loser.Bechare ki PR application reject ho gayi toh gham ke maare dusron ko bhi rula raha hai 😂😂👍👍

  16. Chutiya tera bap Modi ko bol job de sab pakoda bechege to khayga kon India ma kam nhi he isliye sab bhar jate he or India payse bhej te he jis se India ko bhi fayda hota he lode tu bas bachodi kar ke payse kamata he or jo nri ho dinrat mhnat karke apne ghar payse bhej te he

  17. Puneet I really love your performance and appreciate your courage to speak about truth….I am so glad that you love to be realistic and speak against wrong….if you get a chance to read it, I would be glad

  18. As an NRI I agree with everything he said. The worst type of NRIs and PIOs these days are the Hindutva extremists, who comfortably live in multi-cultural secular democracies, but support fascists like Modi, and want a dystopian Hindu Rashtra in Bharat.

    PIOs being hyper-nationalistic deshbhakts is beyond absurd. They are not even citizens of India, and are bankrolling the Sangh parivar to carry out it's nefarious agenda.

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