My Friends Are Jealous Of My Financial Success

My Friends Are Jealous Of My Financial Success

fred is with us in Los Angeles hi Fred welcome to the Dave Ramsey show hey Dave how are you better than I deserve what's up yeah good so here's a question my wife and I all of your planned and thankful are with debt we both are college educated make over two thousand dollars a year and then other part of the coin is my parents while they are also very wealthy and helped us not pay off our debt so much as to helped us get a home when the economy's in the downturn and be able to get in some places so they did help make a down payment on our house so outside of that we're in a pretty good spot I guess oh we've completed the steps and my god I'm just putting money away and whatnot by God reason why I call this some time maybe some someone's kind of like your daughter goes through I'm guessing being connected to you finding that a lot of our friends a lot maybe four or five are envious of our situation and what are the piers would be is that my parents have given us money to live the kind of lifestyle that we have we don't oh you know over live our money as the Bible teaches and we give and we're very generous or giving buy so we do make you some amount of money but again it goes back to I had friends make comments very excited comment about oh wow it must be nice or things of that nature and it's just it's tough to hear that because when my friends have good things happen to them I'm generally happy for them I've happy that they're doing wow that they've got a good job and been able to buy a house and I'm really happy for that but it just feels like sometimes some people are your friends are jealous or anteus oh yeah it's officially you're in how old are you 35 okay well you're old enough that you've experienced that some of the people you went to high school with you're no longer in contact with because you're anything in common with them right yeah I do my high school because you're stuck but because you don't have anything in common with them right I mean the people I used to raise hell with when I quit raising hell and I mean anything in common with them you know and so I mean I'm not mad at them I'm happy to spend time with them but they're probably not going to be in my inner circle like they were when I was in high school because we they've continued that lifestyle and I haven't okay right and so what happens as you become more successful regardless of how you did it as long as you did it legally and morally and ethically which obviously you did but as you become more successful there are people that don't understand and they make hurtful or snide comments sometimes they're even in your family and so what Sharon and I have learned to do is we have to decide how hurtful and how close that person is if this is a distant person who just says something that's you know just socially weird and they they're just too dumb to know that what they said was hurtful we just water off a duck's back and let it go but if this was what we consider to be a close friend who made a comment like that I would call them out on it and I would say listen you know what number one you're wrong number two that's hurtful you act like with your little eye roll and it must be nice that I haven't done this and this somehow that my parents did it for me our parents helped us but it was very little dude I make a couple of hundred a year and we've managed to live on less than that because we're disciplined and that's how we got where we were look had nothing to do with it and so if you and I are gonna be friends you're gonna have to be my cheerleader not by a detractor and I've called people out on it sounds just like that but not many times most of the time they're distant enough from me and I just don't really care what they think and so I just go on you know we built a big nice house and you know we had a you know a person in the outer rings make comments about our house you know oh that's you shouldn't be doing a house like that and you shouldn't that's just opulent and they're just showing off or whatever well all that means is I'm not going to be spending time with you much and I'm not gonna be I'm not going to confront that person their four or five rings outside the inner circle but if they're close enough to me and they make a comment like that I'll pop them a little bit you know I'll call them out on it I mean gently but very firmly you know I'm saying so you just decided right which they are to use to whether you want to bother with that or not my question mill on that then is how specific then do you get less them about your situation obviously you know it's different than I have but as far as you know numbers go over hey you know here's how it worked out or whatever that's another business I you know you can decide that in this situation but uh you know I don't have to explain it to you but I'm gonna tell you this much okay here's what happened and you know Mom and Dad helped us a little bit with the house and everything else we did because we make a couple hundred a year and we live on less than we make it's been a matter of discipline and diligence and and do don't make a comment like that again if you want to be close with me because that's just that makes me madder hurts my feelings have you last question kind of on same topic is kind of going on what's your what's your framework says and I agree that you keep your friends close to you Zucotti sure that's thing about income and I do have some friends that are pretty close mad that have also made somewhat similar comments have you have the fandom is that yeah yeah sometimes it's affected by that now I've got lots of friends that make a lot more than I do and are a lot wealthier than I am and I got lots of friends that don't have a small percentage of what we've got and but there are the kinds of people that I share a value system with I share a faith walk with and what my net worth or my income is irrelevant in that relationship and if they can't if they make it relevant by doing something like that in that relationship it damages the relationship I didn't change I didn't become snobbish I'm still just Dave from Antioch I'm still the same guy I didn't change now I've cleaned up my life as I've cleaned up my spiritual walk over the last 40 years and you know I'm a better person of character than I was because I was a character you know and so that that part has changed but I'm saying I'm not I didn't become stuck up or snobbish or I don't look down at people because of money but I'm also not gonna be talked down to by people who purport to care about me because I've become successful so you know I'm not rub your nose in it and but you know we're just not gonna have weirdness around the money subject if we're gonna have weirdness around the money subject then then it's not gonna be happening much if we're not gonna be around each other much that's what it comes down to

34 thoughts on “My Friends Are Jealous Of My Financial Success

  1. For those of you watching $200,000.00 in Los Angeles and So-Cal is more or less around $100,000 in a non coastal state especially after taxes and expensive housing is concerned. Low income in California is defined as $84,000.00 per person and under for reference. These callers are average middle class for CA standards. (Speaking as someone who lives in Irvine, California).

  2. This call is a bit weird. Don't well off ppl tend to hang out with other well off ppl? And how do their friends have intimate details about their personal finances (e.g. parents helping with the house).

    I wonder if this guy hangs with a certain group and brags a bit so that he can get the "jealous" reaction.

  3. We are debt free but I never feel like I can be openly Happy about it because my grandparents left me a free house to live in. I'm not a millionaire by any means but I can relate to what this guy is saying.

  4. How you know someone's your friend:

    A. You can tell them bad news and they'll actually listen

    B. You can tell them good news and they'll help you celebrate
    – Peterson lecture

    Sounds like this guys 'friends' don't really meet requirement B.

  5. They are not just jealous ..The success that you and your wife have remind them of their failure .. that is why rarely friends stay friends for years and years .. guess what every few years you will have even fewer friends .. in my case, I don’t care I will continue my success and if friends not happy … out of door !

  6. The people who say wealth is a bad thing, are the same people who have no wealth. I never heard a wealthy person say ''i hate being wealthy.''

  7. So I’m 25 and next year around my 26th birthday in May I should have my debt paid off (outside my mortgage) and 6 months expenses saved. Single with $68k gross income in Tennessee

    My question is what’s next? Should I save money so that I can start getting into real estate? I know how to trade stocks as well? Invest in a coach? I would like to increase my cash flow for whenever the lord sees fit for me to have a husband and kids. Thanks in advance! I love that Dave is a fellow Tennessean! I grew up in Antioch as well. 😁

  8. Everybody wants to see you do good but nobody wants to see you do better. Get yourself some new friends or no friends you'll live.

  9. This guy needs speech therapy, I could barely understand wft he’s saying!😫🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

  10. The only problem was you told your friends “my parents help me live my lifestyle.” Why are you even telling your friends how much money you have? It’s no ones business if your parents help you either.

    My guess is this guy was humble bragging and his “friends” are just tired of hearing about it.

  11. When they say, “Oh, it must be nice”, you say, “It is and the funny part about it is you could do the same.” I just paid a friend’s rent. I poked my finger in his chest and said, “This is how friendships end. I don’t want this one to end!” So far he is up-to-date on his payments to me. I also told him, you want to be someone who can help others, not be in trouble like this! He is also saving right now. Let’s hope it lasts.

  12. That’s not friends.
    One of friend is completely debt free and I was sincerely happy for her. Envious, but not jealous since she and her husband had worked hard and diligently to achieve their goals. She encourages me on and makes me feel better about my finances and what I did accomplish so far.
    Now that is a friend.

  13. i have learned to not care about other peoples opinions, my true best friends understand each others wealth and know what they have been through to achieve that. If they judge your wealth and don't know your path they either aren't close friend sand use should ignore their opinion or they are ignorant.

  14. I’m someone who resides in LA and has a few “Freds” in my inner circle within the same age group. It is extremely common for wealthy parents here to not only pay for their children’s school but also for their house so the child (and their spouse) pays zero in interest and pays a “mortgage” back to the parents. It’s an investment for the parents until the children “pay it off” and the children can focus on having grandkids 😜. Most of the debt they accrue is more through excessive shipping / vacations on credit cards.

    If you have this luxury, enjoy it ❗️ It’s an amazing opportunity that anyone would take if they could✨

    I’m not assuming this is THIS Fred’s exact situation – I’m just speaking from experience. But I do think the reason why he’s so concerned about what his friends think of him is because he is probably downplaying how much the parents have helped and is used to depending on them in more ways than for their monetary value. I’m glad Fred is debt free, and I hope he continues to hold his head high and gets a set of friends that enjoy life and don’t fixate on a financial profile that isn’t theirs.

  15. Smaller circle makes you a harder target 🎯

    had to let friends go because of jealousy, when I made amazing financial decisions without any guidance or help. And I’m 27 on my way up! All thanks to god

  16. Wage envy is (in my opinion) the root of all problems today.
    People who work hard and earn lots of money should NEVER be chastised or made to feel less of a person.
    Rich/smart people start businesses, donate to charities and having money helps with security and stability.

  17. I've never understood the unnecessary display of wealth. It seems like attention seeking. I think you can expect that kind of response if you practice the unnecessary display of wealth.

  18. It really does not take much in the way of discipline to live on under $200k/yr. But if the friends make you uncomfortable and you want to keep them as friends, just tell them about it.

  19. This video is 100% proof that when you have money you still have problems, they're just a lot better problems 🙂

  20. It’s not just friends but also family members too if you’re rich and successful. Sometime it’s better to keep quiet and humble and not say or show off what you have. Just give but do it quietly.

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