How to be a Patriot in Current India | Thumper

How to be a Patriot in Current India | Thumper


India, now a days is flooded with patriots
– not that we lacked patriots earlier but the current qualification criteria is little
different! Unless you qualify these, you are clearly a Pakistani agent, which apparently is the latest name trend for traitors! To help out my fellow Indians and save y’all from the nuvo-patriots’ wrath, I will tell you the new criteria to be a patriot in India! To begin with, stop using the term India – Bharat is the real name and Bharat mata is what we call her. If you cannot call this country
Bharat – you can go to pakistan. Speaking of pakistan, you should hate everything to do with them – artists, singers, writers, sports persons… The true patriot doesn’t have to join army to fight the terrorists, but instead bully regular Pakistani folks in social media, since they are the people who infiltrate our borders! Keep using culture, tradition etc in your
conversations. Tell the world about medicines, disinfectants
and even soft drinks made out of the holy cow urine! If the whole world is laughing at us, we know they are just jealous of our advanced technologies! Uphold whatever is left from that
culture by spitting in the open, peeing in the streets, littering, open defecation and
by never following traffic rules. If you get caught doing any of these, as a patriot and follower of Indian traditions, you should bribe the corrupt authority and come out clean. Play national anthem in movie theaters before every movie; however trashy the movie be! Write “Proud Indian” in your twitter bio
and always keep the Indian tricolor as your profile picture in all the social media during Independence day & Republic day. Never criticize the government; which you
have elected based on how big a criminal they are, how much money they have given you to vote, how much hate he/she spreads using your community name and what surname they have! Traitors criticize government and free speech is an american conspiracy! To be a true Indian, you should practice hatred in different levels: start from religion, all of which are historically good for nothing but hatred! Your religious hemorrhoid should bleed by a comedy show, play, book, pig, cow,
clothes, ruined buildings! Animals can be holy or haram, food or slaves but human beings are worthless and to be murdered at your whim! Once that’s done, spread hatred
in terms of regions; North-East-West-South is a good start and then move to various states! Propagate linguistic hatred and demand your language to be mandatory across the country! Throw out people from other state out of your state as they are lesser Indian than you. Once the inter-community hatred is on, ignite the intra community hatred campaigns! If you’re a muslim, kill fellow muslims shouting shi’a and sunni, if you’re hindu, uphold the caste system and uproot anything other than your own caste and work towards the dream of inhuman, barbaric life your ancestors! If you’re christian, hate each other using catholic, orthodox, born agains and what not! Follow the same for all other religions! Honor your family and community by killing the people who fall in love, lynch your sister’s classmate for speaking to her, kill your own child for not covering her head, molest the couple sitting in parks, kill activists speaking against your sacred superstitions, intimidate and bully people who find out the teardrops
on your church statue was sewage water – all for upholding your culture! While you are making food, thoughts and life illegal in the country, legalize our true traditions like dowry, untouchability and
bring back sati, and practice most civilised justice systems like khap panchayat! Finally, respect our women as per our tradition:
Try abort the girl child, deny her education, and if she manage to grow up alive, sell her off young, using the grand tradition of Dowry, harass her for complaining about
western superstitions like marital rape! Show them where they belong by quoting the most futuristic writings from the dark ages! – Bible, Koran, Manusmriti, Epics or whatever is convenient for human regression! Taunt them, leer at them, harass them and call it eve teasing; rape them, then blame it on their clothes, or the time of the day they were out and conveniently quote your tradition and fairytales as excuses! Always live in denial, abuse the people who
try to improve, never ever change, even if you are neck deep in shit! The bottom line is, be an asshole! Hunt the motherfuckers/madarchods, who bring shame to the nation and harass its citizens; who basically are raping the bharat mata/mother India; hence the motherfucker remark! Look closer and deeper to see who are those traitors! Good luck finding them!
GOOD LUCK FINDING THEM!

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