How social narratives stop us from being happy | Andrea Breanna

How social narratives stop us from being happy | Andrea Breanna


I’m obviously an extreme. What I found when I came out of the closet
as trans because I will say, I always knew I was trans. And I think that’s not true of all trans people. It’s not what defines us. But it is true of a lot of us. So in part, I think I lost, I sometimes feel
like many of us do a lost childhood that I didn’t get to fully be myself. But on the other hand, I also feel like I
was able to frequently be myself because I was never in the closet to myself. And it was something that I always found a
little space, literally a closet, sometimes, to be myself. Growing up in the Valley, and my dad started
a software company, I learned to code. And the first reason I learned to code, the
first thing I did with it, was create I wrote a little thing of code to password protect
a file. It was like really early days. My dad had bought a computer and it was assembled. And it was the first private space that I
had. With sisters and cousins and my mom, as nosy
as we all knew she was, there was no way I could have a diary. But the first place I could write was this
space that I knew like no one would read but me. And that, for me yeah, I think a lot of trans
people work in tech, because as kids it was a place we could be ourselves. But what I think I found when I came out of
the closet, the biggest fear, that once my wife accepted me instead of wanted a divorce
and she understood I didn’t, I actually, I’ve always been attracted to girls. And that was really hard on the whole gender
orientation and sexual orientation. And like, if I could whisper back to myself
as a teenager, you can be a girl and like girls. But it was also confusing through all of this. And for her, there’s no narratives. And I think if you accept, more than anything
I think, I think I’ve been thinking about this a lot. And I think that there is a when we are living
in a paradigm, which is our current one, where we are trying to find the role already existing
that we fit into, I think when we try to exist in modern times in that paradigm, it causes
a tremendous stress and anxiety. Because as humans, it turns out, that very
few of us fit so perfectly. I think coming out as trans, what has been
beautiful for me is to see that while I get to meet a lot of people who identify as trans,
I meet, overwhelmingly people who identify with trans people. With this sense of not fitting into those
things and I see, with four kids, and all of them little, from 12 to 1 and 1/2, “Are
you going to grow up to be a fireman or you can be the president. Don’t forget to dream big!” And the biggest dream we can put out there
for them is the president. But they ask from middle school for kids to
think about their specialty. And it’s like, how could you know? You don’t know. You won’t I think the smartest people don’t
know what their thing is when they’re 70. But the biggest dream should be, you’re going
to invent something we don’t know yet. And when you look at humanity, everyone who’s
alive picks from the existing narrative roles that we’ve been given. And they used to be terribly primitive, but
they were shockingly primitive from where I think we can get to quite rapidly if we
accept this different paradigm, where the goal is to create a new role. It’s to build a new narrative, that we have
hundreds of years of expanding narratives before we’ve exhausted what it could mean
to be human. People don’t talk about happiness very often. And happiness is the most important thing
in our lives. It’s the most valuable metric of our lives
is how happy we were. Everything else if noise. I went to Costa Rica when I was younger. And we met this it was deep in the jungle,
in Osa Peninsula we met this shaman who was really amazing. And he knew the jungle and all the bird calls,
really incredible person. And he and I very much connected. And a little moment that even 15 or 20 years,
how long it’s been, always sticks with me, is he said, “Listen, see this flower?” and
it was a gorgeous complicated jungle flower He says, “If you love it, then you’ll understand. Because you’ll pay attention and [INAUDIBLE]. And if you hate it, then you’ll only have
that thin little photo of it. You won’t ever understand it.” So when you think of your boxes, it’s that
simple. What do you love to do? What made you happy? And those are the things that your soul are
fighting to find again.

92 thoughts on “How social narratives stop us from being happy | Andrea Breanna

  1. He just have mental illness and he need to go to mental hospital. This is nor normal, he is obvously in the same range as serial killers, psychopats and can't be normal

  2. FWIW, if someone is suffering from genuine gender dysphoria and they need help as a result, then they should have access to it and hopefully, they have a support system for that. But if they're transtrenders and make life a living hell for those who are ACTUALLY suffering, it's no wonder the suicide rate amongst trans people is so high.

  3. Oh wow i doubt mentaly ill can give constructive suggestions.
    Sad it shares channel with Bill…

  4. "See that flower, if you love it then you'll understand it. etc ect"

    That's a narrative too. But narratives are simple tools to create a "reality".

    I'd rather find truth and be in love with that.

  5. Happinea is a fluctuating emotion and nothing people should strive for.
    Social narratives is just a compilation of other people’s opinions on how you should be. That’s why it’s crucial to have your own drive and follow just that.

  6. I support the L,G and B but draw the line at T. I just can't do it. These people are clearly suffering from a mental issue. Gay and Lesbian, bi, that I can totally understand. We need to change the narrative here and get these trans folks the help they need and stop encouraging their delusions. We don't encourage anorexics to stop eating and pretend we agree with their distorted self image, so why do it with people with gender dysphoria?

  7. I had a a miserable life until one day I took a walk in the woods and I was attacked by a bunch of naked women aliens from Venus and I've never been the same since. I guess I could have escaped from their flying machine but I lost my will due to their strange Vibrations that I was experiencing, there was no thought of escaping.

  8. I think we really gotta encourage kids to understand that you can like whatever you want but that doesn't effect your gender. We place this stereotype that dresses are for girls, suits for boys etc.. but this just creates the idea for trans people that they're now the opposite gender because of their preference in these choices. Gender is linked to anatomy, not personal choices. You're born what you're born with, if you have a dick and wanna wear dresses then I hope you wear the shit out of it my dude. But you are still a dude

  9. Classic example of talking without saying anything… If there is anything he actually said, i probably missed it and it feels like whatever point he was making could have been made in 10 seconds.

  10. I think people are missing the point a little with this. What she’s saying is that sometimes narratives can be damaging. As a man, if i don’t find and get married to the love of my life and have kids, then something is wrong with me and i didn’t do anything with my life. She’s saying to look at narratives that apply to you and ask yourself if they really actually fit you. You might have a lot of weight lifted off your shoulders and find out you’re not as messed up as you might believe. I thought it was a really good message coming from someone who probably knows a thing or two about it. Don’t understand why there is so much hate. There wasn’t any social justice being pushed here…

  11. It's Capitalism 👌👽 Doesn't matter because you will become obsolete
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cIadNashcs&t=32s

  12. You are a dude. You are living a lie. If it works for you fine but you will always be a guy no matter how hard you try to pretend. I refuse to call an obvious man a woman just to sustain his fantasy. I wish you peace and hope you have a good life. Accept life for who you are not for what you wish you were.

  13. For some reason, this reminds me of the film Men in Black, when K tells J why we aren't supposed to have a universal translator: "human thought is so primitive it is looked upon as an infectious disease in some of the better galaxies". It works both ways and I think it's ultimately a good thing, but it's something to be aware of.

  14. Dress normal… you depend on attention to much… you think too much… you’re lost in thought as the world slips by…

  15. The reality that you are a man is a primitive view? You are delusional. Get woke homie. You have a dick. You are a man.

  16. I thought this had a great message, but we just need to recognize that these neo-ideologies aren't removing social narratives, they're just creating new ones, which will simply make different people miserable.

  17. The ultimate goal in the globalist era is happiness and pleasure — hedonistic, self-centered and, paradoxically, a -?democratic?- authoritarian government.

    Once upon a time the goal was "the good life." This is not the same as happiness and pleasure.

    Where did my remark come from? I can only answer, "read lots of books"

  18. I feel like a lot of the dislikers here do not understand how complex the universe is …… black and white thinking is abnormal when faced with the realities of differences and variety in the universe.
    Think quantum physics and understand infinite outcomes

  19. I think the premise is flawed.

    Looking for happiness under the rock of identity is a fool's errand. I believe this pursuit explains part and parcel why there is a higher percentage of suicides among the trans community post transitioning.

    It is not that there is "buyer's remorse" as the uninformed would assume, but it points to a deeper disillusionment – identity as a guarantor of happiness is false.

  20. Agree with the value of building narratives and being careful in perceiving the already existing ones as the only ones. It seems simple but most times it isn't. It's not that easy to understand that it's not just about choosing your path, as much as building your path.

  21. Addiction and victim brought on by being raped as a child stealing ones childhood weaponized by spirit cooking globalists to overwhelm the system to return to the old Earth system of no middle class. resist

  22. and you trans people
    goo serve war, train moy tay, fight and atleast preteand too bea secesful milioner

  23. We need to drop the anti science narrative that a man can be a woman. That's all…thanks you far left loonies. 🙂

  24. OMG – another delusional soul pretending to be sane. The poor man needs help, not given a forum on You Tube.

  25. People only talk about happiness. The people who talk about happiness the most are usually the ones that have it the least because they tend to know the least.

    Happiness is a byproduct of adopting responsibility and finding meaning in the responsibilities we take.

  26. Life-destroying narratives like: “My pursuit of happiness is being impeded by straight White males, so I’m powerless.”

  27. This is a perfect example of the most perilous narratives we could ever apply to a culture. A narrative that society must adjust its traditions to become inclusive of a minority’s happiness, would undoubtedly produce the fruits of bane consequences for future generations!

  28. What really stops some of us from being happy is assuming superficial identities and basing our entire life around them. What you are, how you look, what you or others call you etc is completely irrelevant. What matters is what you do, that's it.

  29. This trans stuff is a sickness……If I got a perm and dark tan and told you I was a black man you would laugh at me and tell me I’m crazy, but I have to take a man dressed like a woman serious??? Yeah right…

  30. I'm sorry, but it's completely impossible for me to watch this travesty, it genuinely makes me sick, and i'm not even trolling…

  31. this video not only shows what happens when we dont know how to lead children correctly, but how they end up leading themselves… according to their way… thanks for sharing

  32. You mean the lgbtq narrative..
    Or the 5th wave femenist narrative?
    Or the kill your babies narrative?
    Trans is a mental disorder..theres a reason that biology matters..x .y..simple chromosomes..you have a dick or a pussy..
    What you feel mentally is not valid..if i tell a dr..i am a amputee and need my arm chopped off..i am crazy..if i tell a dr.. I am a woman and want you to lob my viable penis off..i am trans..its fucking nuts..its a mental issue..look at this dude..seriously..wtf is wrong with you guys

  33. No…theres much work on the topic…social narratives help provide coherence and understanding and the ability to stop harmful practices..

  34. Feelings can be helpful but it helps to be able to be coherent and understand what's going on besides trying to be happy with feelings as the sole motives…social narratives are very helpful…

  35. Transition isn’t going so well I guess? You look more like an 80s rockstar dude. You need some estrogen big time

  36. This is so true. It seems that whenever someone doesn't fit into a particular box, people want to find a box that they DO fit into, when what we should be doing is accepting the idea of a unique individual.

  37. No surprise. The further left you are, statistically more depressed you're likely to be. While religious conservatives are generally happier.

  38. Wise words 🙂 Unfortunately it is mostly hard work to get people out of their judgemental thinking – which is hurting themselves most – but still they can't let it go because they are afraid to face any unknown territory and to leave their intellectual comfort prison.

  39. Oh stop. Get help. Chopping off your dick doesn't make you a chick. You cannot change your sex. Biology 101

  40. People say "he's dressing like a girl" but won't call her a girl. If clothes don't make a gender but you say she's dressing like a girl in the same breath maybe it's time to step back and mind your own business. Let people be themselves.

  41. People need to stop conflating the message of this video with gender identity. You're all missing the point of you think it's about gender identity omg, the comment section is full of people who didn't LISTEN.

  42. don't get me wrong, this is not about trans people for me. but i believe orderliness and strict social narratives actually makes people behave better, especially if it is about respect for that social narrative. this essentially means that you can be yourself, but only if you act properly to general principles, those exist for a reason. they don't stop us from being happy, they allow us to act propperly

  43. I am Unsubscribing this channel, nothing interesting long time for me, now men dressed like a girl? sorry, i am to old for this

  44. If you came here to hate on SJW or disliked it instantly because she came off as that type. Please re-evaluate your biases. What she said was not politically loaded and was completely reasonable. Sad to see so many dislikes based on appearance.

  45. FFS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U88jj6PSD7w
    do you guys even watch your own videos?

    you guys really are full of SJW BS now.

  46. I don't believe that social narratives are the problem and I'm not convinced happiness is the most important thing in life. I believe meaning and purpose are the most important things in life and a side effect of those things is happiness. The great thing about meaning and purpose is that, like people, it is completely unique, and each individual defines for themselves what is purposeful and meaningful.

  47. People! you are missing the point, what's important is that Costa Rican people are very wise. Pay no attention to my clearly latin name.

  48. No, 'happiness' is just an expression of this paradigm where we're all supposed to fit into a category. What if someone feels good, and smiles, but doesn't identify as 'happy'? Are we to say that they're happy anyway? Are we to say that their mood is inferior, just because it's not 'happy'? No to language! Language forces us to define words to apply to people and things. Just look at this, I used the term 'people', and I had a definition in mind. How dare I impose my definition on others? How dare I presume that someone is a human being, just because they look like it?

    Language is an evil thing. I say, let's let's change this paradigm of definition, and become apes again!

    Either that, or we can tell all the politically correct language destroyers to eff off. It's one or the other.

  49. same circulated definitions- yeah yeah, you feel like this and that, don't fit into this box so create new ones. Happiness is most important – yeh.. only if it were that easy to be happy, just dress like a girl, do nails and dye your hair – ALL IN PINK (who followed the narrative btw) and tell people that they follow narratives and need new ones ? you CRAZY ? Fooling people with your narcissism and desire to become famous. BIG THINK you're not thinking big enough! I dont care what this person does in his life, cross dress/ follow gender stereos or whatever the hell he does, but telling the world that whoever is not conforming to their thought process is driven from one single narrative and need to accept whatever people say – hnm – need to accept their ideology so they could feel better about their delusions .. yeah right .. no thanks. Is it time to unfollow this channel as well !

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