"Hard Head" Wants To Finance A Car!

"Hard Head" Wants To Finance A Car!

erica is in Chicago hi Erica welcome to the Dave Ramsey show hi can you hear me okay I sure can how can I help awesome well I want to start off by just saying thank you because because of you about gonna say five years ago I'm listening to you four years ago I became that free so I got married two years ago came in to the marriage obviously that free life I said initially we're on the same page to make the long story short I ended up showing a civic that I had to purchase two cars because my husband is here from South America so we bought two used cars one of them works awesome the second one we basically were told it had like 80,000 miles and I've had like 200,000 miles we had obtained like five times more than what it was and it died a couple of months ago so now my husband wants to finance a new car and as you can imagine I am thinking out I don't know what to do I don't wanna I don't want it to become an argument but I don't know how to convince him that that's just not a good idea okay why are you convinced it's not a good idea well because how is your principles I don't want to go invest one you know like a why because of the gold we have long-term I mean we were almost we were pretty much done with our emergency fund we wanted to not supposed to buy a house the car itself is going to lose so much value when we take it out of the place and wasn't I get it son I feel like we could get another car let's use I feel we just had bad luck with you the ones that you know they got ripped off and when you say all of that to him what does he say he says that it's just a huge risk that we can probably were probably going to get ripped off again and if she doesn't want to do that then we your car and why would you not get ripped off if you bought a new car trust me I've tried to say everything I can't I just don't know like it even got you so bad to a point where he's saying that I'm just so close-minded with the way that I think about money that maybe we might maybe we should go separate ways types of things we've gone to that point and I'm like thinking of like the white side of me trying to be a good Christian life is like okay should I show is your definition of a Christian wife going along with misbehavior not at all and that's where that's where I'm getting second I'm you just you just used the phrase good Christian wife in order to give yourself permission to cave to a wrong decision so that was going to be my question like do I let him bacon the snake and him realize that it's a mistake in the long run or do I just put my foot down and say no we're not doing this no um well here's the thing hardhead that's your husband's name he is unwilling to take his wife's input that's a problem in a relationship you shouldn't be running over him and he shouldn't be running over you the Bible says submit yourselves one to another and if your husband is wanting to do cocaine and he thinks that's a wonderful thing are you a good Christian wife if you go along with it no and buying a car on a car payment is financial cocaine it's stupid as a matter of fact we know it's stupid and it's not that you're not willing to bend it's like I understand the law of gravity I'm unwilling to jump off the building I get it there's a law in force here and I'm not a law breaker I'm not jumping off the building I don't care if you think you can fly I'm not jumping off the building you know and that's all you're saying is this is an illogical bad decision it's an unwise decision here's how we know it's unwise all the things that you've just said earlier when I asked you why you didn't want to do it a car payment keeps you from your goals a car payment is financing a large asset that goes down in value a car payment is the signal you want to be middle-class the rest of your life because all the data points of millionaires tell us they don't borrow money to buy cars and haven't in several decades when I ask millionaires what the biggest financial mistake they ever made was they said we bought a new caram payments one time when we were stupid and that's then we quit doing that Stein of stuff and that's when we became millionaires when we just studied 10,000 of them that's what they said as opposed to hardhead in his opinion so what do you do I don't know I don't know how you deal with a hard head exactly except possibly the – if he's threatening that you need to go your separate ways because you won't go along with financing a car then that says that your relationship comes down to him controlling your decisions that ain't much of a relationship and that says that you need to be in marriage counseling to me okay I think that's what I need to hear yeah cuz hardhead is you know he's pretty much gonna be his way or the highway says what he's saying you're gonna go along with my stupidity and if you don't go along with that I'm the man of the house then you're not a good Christian wife and we need to go our separate ways that's what's that's what's floating in the air in this conversation am I missing something okay no and I think I needed to hear it that's what I was thinking as well I was not sure at what point do I just I'm not suggesting you end your marriage over a car payment but this is really not about a car payment this is about control okay this is about who's going to control things and he's gonna it's my way or the highway so what's next if you go along with this one what's the next thing you have to go along with and the next thing you have to go along with against wisdom see this is not how a proper relationship functions and so I can guarantee you that if Sharon Ramsey pulls that same kind of crap she and I are going toe-to-toe and she can fight she's a hillbilly woman she knows how to fight and vice versa if I'm doing something she you know that she doesn't go along with we go toe to toe and we don't do it very often we've been married a long time we figured out how to not act that way but we do not make major decisions in our lives unless both of us are in agreement there's some things that she wants to do she goes and does them and I'm okay with that and we talk about that I have no desire to do that you want to do that ahead off go do it that's fine but it's not borrowing money on a car it's you know who you're going to lunch with or who you want to go to dinner with or whatever I'm I'm happy to not do that you head on and that works out fine but major decisions like buying a piece of real estate making them a major charitable contribution a decision like that if both of us are not in agreement we just don't do it until we have agreement about it we do not move forward proactively on financial and life decisions of size and I've learned I make a lot more money that way proverbs 31 says who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above rubies the heart of her husband's safely trusts her and wait for the financial part here's what it says and he will have no lack of gain so men if you're married to a virtuous woman and if you're married to a virtuous woman usually she doesn't have to tell you she's virtuous that's part of being virtuous she doesn't think she's the holy spirit that's part of being virtuous but if you're married to a virtuous woman that has an opinion you will have no lack of gain when you go along with that and that's not caving and that's not being a wuss and that's not not being a man that's not you know being impact or whatever that's just getting along in relationships properly and listening to each other the preacher said and now you are one and so if you make decisions by yourself you're using half your brain because together you're one but one of you is a half and so that's how this works and I've made a lot of decisions with half my brain I run the car off the road in the ditch meanwhile my wife was going I think I saw a bridge outside I think I saw flashing lights here yeah well well I'm driving the car okay right not a good idea so we learned to work together and we've had no lack of gain ever since it slows us down it gets unity in the household it creates relationships by the way another issue is when we stay these millionaires none of them said I did this in spite of my spouse out of 10,000 millionaires some were single some were divorced but none of them said I have I built wealth in spite of my spouse's bad decisions never happened once it's always we work together to hit our household goals we sacrificed together to hit our household goals a hundred percent of the time that's what they said never said i drugged the princess along kicking and screaming never came up in the research not once so low probability of prints are hard head or princesses that won't work together leading the wealth very low probability

43 thoughts on “"Hard Head" Wants To Finance A Car!

  1. Don't allow your husband to use your religion as a source of controlling you. Period. That is not a genuine, Godly marriage.

  2. In the same position with my wife, she wants to refinance and I just wanna by a hooptie till we can pay cash

  3. I vote marriage counseling. Divorce is a very very serious subject. Is he not being close minded by 100% asserting that he is right in that the new car is the best idea and that your ideas show you "close minded" you are? The two of you need to agree what the best idea is. Lets face it folks, unless you have serious money to burn a brand new car is never the best decision. I'm talking your debt free and have the cash to buy the car paid in full. Other than that, your over spending and being foolish.

    Why can you not buy a car that is 2-4 years old with about 30,000 to 40,000 miles on it. Schedule a test drive, drive it, and pay your local community mechanic to go on that test drive with you… let him / her drive it, crawl under it, pop the hood and give you some advice on if it's a good deal or not. Might just be the best $50-$100 you ever spent. Why is that so bad an option that you need to run and sign on the dotted line and end up paying twice as much or more for a car that is essentially the same thing?

    Stick to you guns. If he threatened to leave you over a car pay, you guys have serious issue and this is just the very beginning. Insist on marriage counseling and do not back down from that. You owe it to yourself. If he is going to act this way, you are FAR better off cutting him lose now.

  4. The bible does not support a woman putting her foot on her husband EVER in any circumstance. Paul in 1st Corinthians 13 says that its SHAMEFUL for a woman to speak in church. Now I know thats crazy, but you nuts think the bible is a good book.

  5. All this stuff about leaving….
    on the plus side at least you're talking…. There's a lot of calls that come in here…. "my wife/husband bought a 30k car without telling me."

  6. When you marry outside your culture, there can be significant differences in value systems especially when it comes to money. The husband may want to live day by day, while the wife wants to live under her means and invest in her future. It's a tough one and I believe has contributed to the deterioration of their marriage.

  7. Ramsey always changes the call about how he handles his finances – about his wife – about how virtuous he is. Better advice would be to close joint accounts – stay friends.

  8. Wife with long term goals and doesn’t mind living below her means to secure a good financial future? If her husband doesn’t want her send her my way she’s the one I’ve been looking for.

  9. All you people saying Dave is wrong here. Are probably broke. If you can by it in cash you can afford it. If you can’t buy it cash guess what? You can’t afford it. Quit living above your means.

  10. Im not whit dave in this one … if he pays for it he can buy … period… her closed mindset about money is just the symptom of her husband not feelling he has control over is own decessions …

  11. Don't play Russian Roulette with your marriage. That's what my ex did. Oh, maybe we should get a divorce because I didn't do what you wanted? Well, maybe we should.🤨

  12. This guy never explains how does someone who has no other way to go to work other than drive and does not have the cash to buy a car .what should they do?
    Will some of you Ramsey sycophants
    Explain that to me.

  13. Threatening to leave over a car is a temper tantrum on the scale of a 6 foot baby. Stop pushing your chick around, and be single if you really want to do whatever you want, garbage.

  14. This is one thing I disagree with Dave Ramsey about. Buying a sensible new car with a warranty is not a bad decision. I bought a new Honda Civic for 20k and had it 10 years with no issues. Sold it for 3k with well over 100 thousand miles. Thats not a bad life decision.

  15. I think I would lay it down it would sound something like this if you get a car payment we’re getting a divorce

  16. Great husband. If she ain’t buying my car, she gotta shoot out my house like a shooting star. God bless America!

  17. obviously, the husband threating to leave was a stupid childish move but not everyone thinks the same as Dave but Dave needs to be more understanding.

    I bought a car on finance 8 years ago even though I had the money cash. I put the $30,000 that would have spent on the car and put that in the S&P 500 and it grossly outperformed the 2.9% I was paying on the car. It was one of the best decision I made.

    I have a lot of respect for Dave and his mentality but not everyone that disagrees with him is immediately wrong.

    If you are just financing because you don't have the money, yes listen to Dave. If you have the money cash and think you can outperform the interest and are in a safe enough position to take that risk, I say do it.

    My biggest issue with the baby steps that it assumes that everyone financial situation is exactly the same and everyone has the same goals.

    Take the good points from his steps, the ones you can apply to your life and the rest just don't apply to you.

  18. Alot of people dont know , used car dealers buy there "cars" 99% of the time from auto auctions and they know just about as much as you do about the history of the car. They just get car fax and drive to see what sounds like a problem if everything looks fine they clean it up and put up the ad as well maintained , full synthetic oil etc etc all BS. The problem with buying cars from private partys is you get alot of car flippers that most of them will sell your soul before telling you about a major problem they found in it because they loose the money they invested on these cars. So if you plan on buying a car and lower your chances on getting a lemon or a car that nor the seller or the buyer have any history about except car fax then buy from a private party that has owned the car for a couple years and can prove it with documentation like title in their name from a couple years back when it was registered when they bought it. There are good cars out there but bring some one mecanically inclined even if you have to pay them $50 for 30 min. They will know what to look for when a car has been crashed or of idle ,cracked frames , transmision going out etc . Your brother or father or friend will most likely know less than you so there opionions wont help much!

  19. Divorce over a car? He obviously just looking for excuse to leave, or divorce. But let’s be smart about this kind of situations ( don’t judge before you hear the other side of the story)

  20. If my cousin actually replaces his totaled 17 Kia, I hope he listens to me. If he does he will at least get a great 8 year old car rather than “needing” a 2020 that hasn’t even been made yet.

  21. Oops. Theology fails again and now Dave has to make up his own version of Bible legends to suit his worldview.
    It's not a sin to be in debt according to some equally influencial zealots like yourself

    No true Scotsman. Classic appologetics fail.

  22. They should really have both people on the show to discuss both sides, she could be the control freak and nag at him about every dime he spends. Theirs always more to the story.

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