Freedom Burgers from Gov Burgers

Freedom Burgers from Gov Burgers


Gov-Welcome to Gov Burgers, home of the Gov
Burger, can I take your order? Me-I’d like to buy a burger
Gov- What would you like with that Burger? Me- Just a small coke and small fries
Gov- But only fries? Don’t you want cheese nuggets with the Gov
Burger? Me- I don’t really want cheese nuggets with
my Gov Burger, no. Gov- Do you hate people? Me- What? Gov- Do you hate people, you heard me, DO…YOU….HATE….PEOPLE? Me- Um….no? Gov- Then why won’t you order the cheese
nuggets? Me- I’m not hungry for cheese nuggets
Gov- Do you know how many people have jobs because of cheese nuggets? Me- No
Gov- Well, we don’t either, but I’m sure it’s a lot, and if you don’t buy cheese
nuggets, some of those people, if not ALL of them, will lose their jobs. They won’t be able to get Christmas gifts
for their kids this year. They will probably end up homeless and die,
overdosed on drugs because you wouldn’t buy cheese nuggets. Does that make you feel good, hater? Me- Umm….if they lose their jobs, couldn’t
they find a new job? Gov- That is BESIDES the point! Hater! Now, if you really want a burger, you’re
going to have to buy the cheese nuggets too. Me- Well, maybe I’ll just go somewhere else
where I can buy a burger WITHOUT the cheese nuggets
Gov- Oh no you don’t. What, now you hate your country too? Me- No, I don’t see how.. Gov- If you don’t like this country, you
can just LEAVE! Me- Well, ok. Gov- Not so fast! It doesn’t work like that. Me- You just said I could leave
Gov- I was being rhetorical. You have to stay. Me- I choose not to stay
Gov- Oh, you’ll stay. Or do you hate the Burger Police too?! Me- There’s a Burger Police? Gov- Yeah, you got a problem with that? We wouldn’t want to have to put you on the
no-burger list. You don’t want to be on the no-burger list,
would you? Me- Ummmmm. Look, ok, this isn’t worth the hassle and
I’m hungry. I’ll take the cheese nuggets
Gov- GREAT! That’ll be $245
Me- For a BURGER!? Gov- ONE burger? Do you hate the poor? Me- I don’t particularly… Gov- Then what is your problem paying $245
for your burger? People are starving! For every burger you buy, three more get burgers. Me- Three poor people? Gov- Don’t be unrealistic, I get a burger,
for having to wait on your complaining, terroristic ass, and of course Daddy gov gets his burger
for having to allow you to come into this store that he pays for. Me- Listen, I put up with the freaking cheese
nuggets, but this is over the top. I’m just going to go. Gov- Oh, you’re not going anywhere, you
will buy this burger and you will LIKE it, I don’t what to see you blog about it, or
tweet your negative experience, and DEFINITELY I don’t want to see your whiney posts on
Facebook. Just give us the $245 and take your Burger
like a good patriot. You do love freedom, don’t you? Me- Freedom? Gov- Yeah, Freedom! Now, give us your money or else. Me- I don’t really have a choice now, do
I? Gov- Thank you for doing business with us. Here you go, one Freedom Burger. Me- Wait, this burger has a bite out of it
and it smells like feet. Gov- We’re sorry sir. You can vote for a new Gov Burger manager
next year if you don’t like the current one. Me- I don’t want to vote, I want to eat
a burger that doesn’t smell like feet. Gov- Well, if you won’t vote, you can’t
complain. And the moral of this story? Without government, who will make our Freedom
Burgers?

One thought on “Freedom Burgers from Gov Burgers

  1. Paul Gordon of iState.TV performs a skit called “Freedom Burgers.” The skit is a metaphor for the services offered to us by Government.
    Govcare, Obamacare, Liberty, istatetv;
    Gov-Welcome to Gov Burgers, home of the Gov Burger, can I take your order?
    Me-I’d like to buy a burger
    Gov- What would you like with that Burger?
    Me- Just a small coke and small fries
    Gov- But only fries? Don’t you want cheese nuggets with the Gov Burger?
    Me- I don’t really want cheese nuggets with my Gov Burger, no.
    Gov- Do you hate people?
    Me- What?
    Gov- Do you hate people, you heard me, DO…YOU….HATE….PEOPLE?
    Me- Um….no?

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