Eng Sub) 国際ゲイカップルの謝り方 | 国際ゲイカップル | Culture Shocks On How to Apologize | Int’l Gay Couple | 男同志 #31

Eng Sub) 国際ゲイカップルの謝り方 | 国際ゲイカップル | Culture Shocks On How to Apologize | Int’l Gay Couple | 男同志 #31

Please accept my deepest apology! It hurts ~ Alright! That’s what we call “Dogeza” in Japan. 🔴Come see us in a livestream at 8 A.M. every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (Japan Time). Hi, it’s Richard. Hi, it’s Sum. What are we talking about today? We are gonna talk a little about how to apologize in different cultures. We actually fight sometimes. Once in a while! After fighting, we amend the relationship
in different ways as we are from different cultures. We used to have a hard time apologizing to each other due to the cultural differences. We’re now used to the cultural differences,
and have a peaceful relationship! Well, it was tough at the beginning of our relationship. So, why was it difficult for us to amend the relationship although we apologized to each other? It’s because you are stubborn! LOL! Hey, you’re stubborn one. LOL! It’s because you don’t do “Dogeza” to me. LOL! We’d like to discuss some cultural differences among Japan & Taiwan & western countries
concerning the way we apologize. First of all, let’s ask Sum to talk about how most Japanese people apologize. Well, in our case, I apologize first. The reason is Richard doesn’t apologize to me first. What?! I sure do!! For example, I say “Richard, I’m sorry for what I said/did a while ago.” Sometimes, things are alright after I say that. I may give a reason after I apologize to Richard. So, I say “I’m sorry and I’ll be careful next time.” Sometimes Sum says those to me,
but sometimes he doesn’t at all. I sure do!! That’s not true. If it ’s a small mistake, we say sorry to each other. Well, there’s no problem at all. The problem is … when we have a big fight due to different opinions, the cultural differences in the way we apologize would have a big impact on our relationship. Sometimes our relationship gets worse as we apologize in a different way. (Sum) Say it in the past tense.
(Richard) OK. It got worse as we apologized in different ways. When we first started our relationship, we didn’t understand the cultural differences between Japan and Taiwan. As a result, we had to think about things in the way we were used to. We would think “in my culture, we do it this way, but why wouldn’t you…?” This is how most people apologize in Taiwan or in the West… First of all, if we think it ’s our mistake, we apologize. You don’t apologize. LOL! I sure do! When I think it ’s my fault, I apologize properly. Then we will explain the reason why we made such a mistake or how we think about the problems. Next is the last step, we promise we won’t do the same thing again in Taiwan or in the English culture. Yes, we make a promise! In case of the Japanese culture, First, maybe most Japanese people only apologize, Or, they would apologize and tell you why. Sometimes they don’t even explain. Well, most Taiwanese people or people in the English culture will try to make a promise after they apologize, And let you know they won’t make the same mistake anymore. Why is that? If you make someone angry, it’d be a good way to make him/her less angry by making such a promise. For the reason I mentioned just now, we have to try to assure they won’t make the same mistakes. That’s how I was brought up. What about Japan? Do you make this kind of promises? I have never done it. When we fight, Sum would never promise he won’t make the same mistake. Why is that? Because I (and probably most Japanese people) don’t have this habit! But, I’ll try to be careful. But I just don’t say it. I’d say most Japanese people don’t do it.
I’m not 100% sure, though. In other words, most Japanese don’t like to promise they won’t make the same mistake. If you make a promise, but you can’t keep it, it’ll be a big problem. That is to say, Most Japanese people basically apologize and/or explain, but they don’t promise they won’t make the same mistake. So, when I fought with Sum in the past, he’d apologize & sometimes explain the reasons, But, he wouldn’t promise that he won’t make the same mistake, And, I’d keep waiting for him to do so! It’s like “Why? Why don’t you just promise me you won’t make the same mistake?” And sometimes I go to him, and ask him to promise me that he won’t make the same mistake again. How would Sum usually respond? I’d say “ok, I understand.” So even if you say you understand,
Actually, If you were non-Japanese, Well, “non-Japanese” here means Taiwanese and English speakers, If a non-Japanese just hear “ok, I see” from a Japanese for apologizing, Sometimes they can accept it and forgive, sometimes they can’t. I thought of it just now, and felt it might be me being thoughtless… “Ok, I see” might sound a little cold & thoughtless. Some may perceive it as you saying “I see” sarcastically. Really? I’m a little worried right now. I want to hear our viewers’ opinions. If you agree or disagree with us, please share your thoughts with us in the comments. Aren’t we asking too much from our viewers? Kind of. But, some of our viewers might wanna share their ideas with us for our reference. It will be helpful for us. It ’s just natural for a couple to fight. Indeed. Not fighting may mean that you don’t like each other or you are not interested. If you don’t like each other, you won’t even argue because you don’t even talk. indeed. When Sum doesn’t promise me
he won’t make the same mistakes, sometimes I tell myself that … “oh, well, Sum is Japanese, not from my culture,” and I shouldn’t expect too much. “I love him so, if I love him, I should accept both his good and bad points.” I love you. That ’s how we amend the relationship. When he says “I see” when I ask him to not to make the same mistakes again, I should take it positively and give him the benefit of the doubt. We should forgive each other, because we love each other. That also means, even if we don’t make the promise we mentioned earlier, we are still able to amend our relationship with our love for each other. I would be very happy if you did “Dogeza,” though. LOL! There are various expressions of apologies in various languages. We sometimes apologize playfully, “Sorry, ‘Hige Sooree (Japanese meaning ‘I shave my beard’)” What an old joke (from Japan). Oh, gosh!! In Japanese, we usually “Gomen ne (I ’m sorry.)” Yeah. And when you play around, I say “Suman (sorry)”! Yeah, I often say “Suman”. “Suman” or “Sorry!” For a couple, I think there are times when you need courage for apologizing. It ’s kind of embarrassing to apologize. That’s true. We may find it very embarrassing to say “I ’m sorry.” Especially young Japanese people. When I was younger, I was a little shy and it was hard for me to apologize. I could n’t say“I ’m sorry” cuz I was stubborn. The same goes with me. (Richard) Indeed
(Sum) As for now, I apologize right away. We probably feel embarrassed easily about apologizing, so we don’t really apologize to each other often. Having said that, you’ll often hear Japanese people saying “I’m sorry” when you go out in Japan. It’s an important part of the Japanese culture. I often say “I’m sorry” to others. If you are in Taiwan, you say “Buhao Yisi (meaning ‘excuse me’)” always. In the livestream (#10), We screwed it! I thought I turned off the camera for our livestream, but I didn’t. At that time, we thought the camera was already off. So, we were playful, and Sum did “Dogeza” to me for fun. Again, I thought I turned off the camera,
but I actually didn’t. No, you didn’t. Well, we watched the video, and we were surprised ourselves. I know, right? (Richard) Well, I think it’s funny.
(Sum) I panicked a little bit. Today, we explained how to apologize in Japan, in Taiwan, and in the English culture. If you agree or disagree with what we said, do let us know with your comments We don’t think we are 100% correct, but we just wanted to share with you how we apologize based on our understanding about our cultures. If you are studying these three languages, We hope what we said today is helpful for your studies. I am very sorry. It hurts ~ Yes, this is “Dogeza.” It was a small play. Everyone, that was very exaggerated! Oh, this is what I do everyday. (LOL) That’s it for today. (Sum) That’s right.
(Richard) Yes. Well then. We hope this video is useful for you. I’m a bit worried if it’s not useful. So if you like this video, please let us know by liking and sharing it with your friends. We love your comment. Alonso, subscribe to our channel for more fun videos from us! Thank you. then, Also turn on the bell. The bell? I’m sorry, my head suddenly went blank. Please do “Dogeza.” LOL! I will do it later. Please turn on the bell. Why should we do it? You’ll get a notification as soon as we upload a new video! You’ll be the first one to know we uploaded a video. You can enjoy the video sooner than others! Yes, YouTube will contact you right away! Yes, YouTube will contact you on behalf of us. You got it! I knew it! (LOL) See you in the next video and livestream again. See you soon! (Richard) Bye! (Sum) Bye! No. You gotta do “Dogeza.” Again?! (LOL)

8 thoughts on “Eng Sub) 国際ゲイカップルの謝り方 | 国際ゲイカップル | Culture Shocks On How to Apologize | Int’l Gay Couple | 男同志 #31

  1. i think as long as you can talk it out and clarify that it just isn't common in thr other culture, there is no problem with apologizing in a different way :).
    lots of love from germany, though i'm excited to visit japan soon!! 😄💕

  2. Thanks for explaining some of the cultural differences that influence a dual culture relationship. I find that, as I get older, it has become easier to apologize quickly instead of waiting to apologize. If I wait to apologize, it is harder and/or I "invent" reasons why I was right and don't need to apologize!!! So it's best for me to apologize quickly!

    I think Sum's point that arguing means you are both investing yourselves in the relationship and that the relationship is important enough to both people that you want to resolve the conflict so you can continue the relationship with the love with which it began. For people who are raised to avoid conflict, that is an important lesson to learn. Otherwise, their avoidance can be considered as indifference and the relationship could be further damaged.

    Good topic!

  3. I thank you guys soo much for inserting the English subtitles into every recorded video of yours. It really makes watching your videos more meaningful. I know subbing takes a lot of time and efforts. ❤️

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