Black Lives? Manners! – The Opposition w/ Jordan Klepper

Black Lives? Manners! – The Opposition w/ Jordan Klepper


It’s Black History Month. It’s the one month of the year where we all get together
and talk about race. And how we pretty much fixed it. But the social justice warriors
will woke-splain to you that this month is a time for me
to learn something. Listen and take a backseat. It’s not gonna happen. I’m not taking a backseat. I have to sit up front because I
get motion sickness. Moving forward makes me puke. It’s a very common ailment for
people like me, so riding shotgun with me is
Kobi Libii. Welcome, Kobi. (cheering and applause) Thank you, Jordan. I’m here to bring attention to an important cause out there,
BLM. Wait, are… are you talking
about Black Lives Matter? Oh, God no, I’m not some
militant radical. I’m talking about BLM: Black lives? Manners. Because, as we all know,
there is an epidemic of impoliteness in
the black community. And it could easily turn into a
case of systemic rudeness. The Black, the Black Lives
Manners movement has its roots in the Jim Crow
era, where, if you were impolite
to white people you were scolded… with murder. And to make sure I’m up on the
good etiquette, I check-in with television’s home for
Black History Month, Fox News. These guys just don’t
see race…. until they do, and then immediately become an
authority on it. I should know, I went to
Fox News finishing school. So, like many black men in
America, I’m virtually finished. Isn’t the mascot over there the
“fighting status quos”? Yes, indeed. And all across Fox News, they’re
taking advantage of this month to really listen… to themselves telling
black people how to act. After the State of the Union, Geraldo had some really
helpful advice for the congressional
black caucus. Everybody’s parents teach them
manners. Manners are very simple. How can you not cheer if you’re a member of the
congressional black caucus for historic low black and
Latino unemployment? -I mean.
-TV REPORTER: Of course. That’s an applause line. I-I don’t care who says it. Sure, he looks like if Willy Wonka ran
a tanning salon, but he makes a great point. If it’s an applause line,
you applaud. So what if Donald Trump
mildly supported some tiki torch
white nationalists. He still said one nice thing
in his speech. Say Jack the Ripper gave a “state of the serial killer”
address, saying, “sex worker wages
are on the rise.” The women he left alive owe him
a standing ovation. That’s just good manners. -Yes, yes, yes, yes.
-Right? It is, it’s all about manners. But it doesn’t stop there. Let’s jump over
to Laura Ingraham, Fox News’ rich aunt
at the picnic. She saw that
Congresswoman Maxine Waters gave a response
to Trump’s speech, and she just knew that she had
to offer a helping hand. Give us the angle, Ingraham. BET featured a response
to the State of the Union -a day after the
State of the Union. -Yeah. Whenever he appears on TV, there should be a disclaimer
that says, “This may not be acceptable
for children.” First of all,
was Maxine Waters– did-did a child make
the backdrop for that set? -What was that?
-(laughing) Nothing says you’re seriously
engaging with someone’s ideas like criticizing
their camera backdrop. Yes, exactly. And Laura is an expert on
backdrops. Her show really captured
the feeling of living inside a game of
off-brand Tetris. See Maxine’s crime is
she’s no fun. Black manners dictate that if
you want to participate in the public discourse,
you need to be either fun, or grateful, and, ideally, both. Like pre-Scientology Will Smith. Exactly, Jordan. But if black people don’t speak
in a humble, accessible way, the rest of America
won’t hear them. Just listen to Greg Gutfeld. If you look up “ally”
in the Urban Dictionary, you’ll find Greg. He’s been laser-focused
on the issue of NFL players kneeling
during the national anthem. Now, everyone knows that started as a protest
against police brutality, but Greg does a great job
of also not knowing it. The kneeling stuff
was poorly articulated. Nobody really knew
what it meant. It had-it had… People had to keep repeating it
over and over again, and it became
a question of patriotism, not a question of brutality. Yes, they had to say it
so many times, as if no one cared to listen. And because players
weren’t being articulate, the good people at Fox News
had to grab the bullhorn and tell protesters
what they’re really protesting. (reading): Kaepernick disrespects
the national anthem. Disrespect for the flag. Disrespecting our anthem. Disrespect our troops. If you listen close,
you can hear these commentators beating us over the head
with the idea of disrespect. Where are the manners,
protesters? That’s systemic rudeness. Yes, these protests
are just so disruptive when all I’m trying to do
is have a good time not considering
what they’re about. And you should be able
to enjoy yourself. The Black Lives Matter movement
is all about keeping black people alive, while the Black Lives? Manners!
movement is all about keeping white people
comfortable. Because if you study
American history, you’ll notice that white comfort has always been more important
than black lives. And Fox News knows that. So let’s not rock the boat, even if the boat
is carrying slaves on a horrifying journey
to America. -Well, I got…
-(cheering and applause) Kobi, I… I will say… I certainly don’t feel
white comfortable right now. Oh, don’t worry, Jordan. Black History Month
is practically over already. -February is basically a week.
-(laughs) So, you-you think we can have
this whole race thing -wrapped up by March?
-Oh, yes. Oh, and it’s called
White March, Jordan. The month we focus on
all the great white marches that will no doubt be happening -in response
to Black History Month.

100 thoughts on “Black Lives? Manners! – The Opposition w/ Jordan Klepper

  1. Publix hires racist just to let everyone know. Last Sunday I went to a Publix and without asking. A Publix employee had to tell me their reason for not watching the Super Bowl. They said quote, "I'm not watching the Super Bowl for all that crap those black football players pulled last year." Not only that Publix is a known Conservative grocery store for rich white Republican elitist. There is a reason you can find a Publix in poor neighborhoods. It's all Save-a-Lots and drug stores. If you live in the South and shop at Publix you support racism and the GOP's fascist agenda.

  2. I have no idea if the Opposition actually has some of the Colbert Report writers, but almost every Opposition segment uploaded to YouTube is really, really well written. This is brilliant, in my opinion, and exactly the kind of cynicism and satire for our zeitgeist, not to even mention Kobi Libii who is probably the best Daily Show-like correspondent since Samantha Bee, ignoring (obviously) Klepper himself.

  3. "I couldn't tell what they were protesting. They had to say it over and over and over!" What's even more disgusting than that phrase is the thousands of viewers nodding their heads in agreement.

  4. Aaron, Josh, and Kobi are easily the most talented and funny members of the cast. I was heartbroken when Jon Stewart retired, but this show is doing a far better job of filling the void than Trevor Noah is!

  5. Yeah, we listen to Black Lives and this what they are saying: "Pigs in blankets, fry 'em like bacon!" & "What do we want? Dead cops! When do want it? Now!"

  6. you guys have not learned a goddamn thing. I almost thought you were turning over a new leaf but nope, you're still talking nonsense and you are still on your period. ok back to hating the regressive left

  7. I've got a question: So if I disrespect the American flag does it hurt its feelings or why is it so important to always honor this piece of fabric?

  8. 3:57
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  9. Fun fact for all you Opposition lovers. Kobi appears as a guest character on a television show called Forever. 17th episode in i saw him and couldn't focus on the show anymore.

  10. Oml, this guy just told oppressive white Americans to go to hell while making the trip sound appealing!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣

  11. I guess it's rude to make white people feel uncomfortable. And, it's rude to be ungrateful that white people GAVE you jobs.

  12. Hi friends
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  13. WHITE MARCH?"~MORE LIKE THE ONLY DAY THAT TELLS U WHAT TO DO IS~~ MARCH (4TH!)!FORTH!!~MARCH FORTH PROUDLY!! MY AFRICAN AMERICAN FRIENDS!!!

  14. This show is the virtual equivalent of the diabetes inducing fair candy, further dipped in honey and carmel aand dripping of sugar syrup. Except the sweet is the sarcasm and the satire

  15. I love it when females on Fox News try to condescend black people like objects then years later cry about how their bosses treated them like nothing more than a hot piece of ass and there's hours of misogyny running throughout the show. Who could feel bad for them hoes??

  16. I've never even thought about how February the "shortest" month is black history month. That's pretty f'd up lol.

  17. "Everybody's parents teach them manners." – Geraldo the douche. Blanket statements like this are toxic. This is unfortunately not the case.

  18. "So what if Trump mildly applauded some tiki torch white nationalists?" BAHAHAHAHA because he DID do that! LMAO… we're screwed.

  19. White bitch!!! I got a question for the for you. Why does your significant other choose masturbation over sex you. After viewing her on the television I already know the answer.

  20. What has happened to Comedy? Pioneers like George Carlin and Richard Pryor told jokes that appealed to everyone and made everyone laugh ,they often had an under lying political or moral theme .The Comedy of today is literally bullying! You are singling a particular group and making fun of them because you don't agree with their politics !

  21. I love these guys, but the best joke is that I was targeted by Youtube for an ad by Pureflix.com to save my soul with movies starring Dean Caine! Save me, Josh and Aaron!

  22. "If you study American history, you'll notice that white comfort has always been more important than black lives." – Malcolm X

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